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Katlin Profile
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Forugh Translation


Came across this translaton I thought some might be interested in:

"The Wind Will Blow Us Away" by Forugh Farrokhzad

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My initial impression is that this translation lacks the lyrical feel of the translations Shab is doing. Nice to see
Forough's name show up on the Wom-Po list serve though.

Last edited by Katlin, Jul/11/2010, 6:47 pm
Jul/8/2010, 4:21 pm Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: Forugh Translation


Kat, you're good. What with the way you gather the intell. I swear you are missing your calling. You should be working in Her Majesty's (Secret) Service.

In the spirit of unabashed, unashamed, unmitigated partisanship I agree with your comparison to Shab's work. How do the French say it? There is a certain je ne sais quoi about Shab's involvements in Forough. Give me awhile and I'll figure it out. All the same this ain't shabby is it? And look at how Forough turns to, turns inside this black wind of hers. She is so working in the ancient Persian tradition. But not imitatively, not forcibly. Rather, making the element(s) her own.

Where has she been all my life? In reply to Shab's most recent translation I said Forough reads like Iran's Rilke. But I've decided that is inadequate. She is coming through for me like Iran's Dickinson.

Tere
Jul/8/2010, 5:03 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: Forugh Translation


Hi Tere,

Yes, I thought this translation was a good one, but I do think Shab's translations are a bit more vital, closer in essence to what I imagine Forough intended. Not that I can be objective either!
Jul/12/2010, 8:30 am Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
deepwaters Profile
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Re: Forugh Translation


funny, I have been working on a translation of this poem. I am glad I didn't see this before, because in certain places our interpretations are vastly different (e.g., the title). I will try to post mine in the next couple of days to see what you all think.
-s
Jul/13/2010, 5:40 pm Link to this post Send Email to deepwaters   Send PM to deepwaters
 
deepwaters Profile
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Re: Forugh Translation


Here is my translation. Like I said, I am glad I had this done before finding the other translation.


Wind Will Carry Us
From Another Birth collection

In my small night, alas
wind has a rendezvous with tree leaves
in my small night, there is apprehension
of ruination

listen,
do you hear how the darkness blows?
I watch this happiness like an exotic being
I am addicted to my own gloom
Listen
do you hear how the darkness blows?!

in the night, something is passing through
the moon is red, anxious
and on this roof,
which is filled, in every moment, with fear of collapse
clouds, like crowds of mourners
are anticipating the moment of rainfall

a moment
and then, nothing

behind this window, the night is quivering
and the earth is about to stop
from spinning

behind this window, an unknown
is anxiously watching you and me

oh you, covered in green,
your hands like a sizzling memory
put them in my loving hands
and your lips like the warm sensation of living
leave them to the caresses of my loving lips
wind will carry us
wind will carry us
Jul/15/2010, 11:19 am Link to this post Send Email to deepwaters   Send PM to deepwaters
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: Forugh Translation


Hi Shab,

I'm glad you didn't read the translation I linked to first, too. I purposely put the link rather than posting the poem here just in case you didn't want to read it right away. I like your version very much. It's different in tone from the other version. Your version is more layered, textured, nuanced and is, I think, more of a love poem, one that ends on a more positive note.

I especially like "sizzling memory" and the overall lyrical quality of your translation. Your translation seems of a piece with other Forough translations you have done and feels right to me, i.e., like the voice of the poet I have come to know through you.

Nicely done.
Jul/17/2010, 8:39 pm Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: Forugh Translation


Much more working for me. Images sharper. Tone more immediate. Cadence driven. Line rhythm (what?) constructed ineluctably and in steppe fashion.

Perhaps I shouldn't ask this question. It might make you self-conscious which can sometimes spoil certain unexamined but perfect dance steps. So don't answer if you don't want to. But why has Forough come to you right now? What's this meanigfulness you are mining in her poetry? Truly remarkable. Thank you very much for bringing her to us.

Tere
Jul/18/2010, 1:52 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
deepwaters Profile
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Re: Forugh Translation


Kat & Tere -

I am so sorry I missed your comments here. Thank you both for your kind assessment of the translation.

I am thinking about your question, Tere. Thank you for posing it, food for thought.

-s
Aug/8/2010, 1:36 pm Link to this post Send Email to deepwaters   Send PM to deepwaters
 


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