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Christine98 Profile
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Drawing the Tarantula


No, not cancer again
Not the Holocaust

Pet stores sell them in glass aquariums
with screens over the top

Maybe a Zen Master told you to take it home
hunkered, half-clenched fist behind the glass
on the car seat next to you
your skin in chills and bunches

Put it on the table
which is cleared and sunlit
cookies in a canister, curtains flounced
reams of paper on the counter

Each leg drawn in relation to
the others and joined to the meaty center
a way of seeing
into which the creature is permitted

You look up; the sun is setting
you carry the aquarium
to the edge of a field
lay it on its side, knock
the screen off with a stick
watch the scuttling parts recede

Foreground into background
and gone.

Last edited by Christine98, Oct/6/2010, 12:29 pm
Oct/6/2010, 12:28 pm Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
pjouissance Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


Hi, Chris,

Really enjoyed this one. It's both philosophical and narrative and I like not seeing the I directly. The tarantula is very well described, esp. that word "meaty".

I"m not sure what this should mean: "a way of seeing into which the creature is permitted." If I take it at face value, it is a startling shift into the zen universe, where the creature is a sort of apparition. This gives me a satisfying uncanny thrill.

I like seeing these spiders on a dusty road. They seem to have real personalities, and they can run amazingly fast. The kings of insects!

Take care,

Auto
Oct/6/2010, 12:42 pm Link to this post Send Email to pjouissance   Send PM to pjouissance
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


You can surprise me sometimes, Chrisfriend. This thing has self-control. Wordsmithing meets moment to thought. Near perfect, or maybe it is the perfect, opening couplet. Like Auto I was struck by the Zen connection. And I am loving the echo of centering found on the kitchen(?) table in the sun light. Poem ends on a twist I was not expecting. Also perfect.

One thing maybe. Perhaps it is too obvious, but I would have called the poem "Drawing Out the Trantula," what for me works on more levels. This is one fine poem. Anyway, I get the chill you mean. Sometimes in the corner of a bee hive I'll come upon a black widow. Always the chill.

(Auto, at the expense of seeming really snarky or nerdy, spiders are arachnids, not insects. But I bet you knew that and chose to speak poeticly.)

Tere
Oct/6/2010, 7:02 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
pjouissance Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


Dang, I wasn't sure, tere, but I did stop for half a second and ask myself if arachnids were subsumed under insects. Good that we have an insect expert here!

Auto
Oct/6/2010, 7:21 pm Link to this post Send Email to pjouissance   Send PM to pjouissance
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


Auto,

I'm glad you enjoyed...gotta say though, if I saw a tarantula coming down a dusty road at a clip, I'd !@#$. These guys are the kings of something, all right.

hey Tere,

glad you liked, yes, I was picturing a kitchen table. Thank you both for your comments, thank you very much.

Chris
Oct/7/2010, 8:25 am Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
Zakzzz5 Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


Christine,

IMHO, this is one of your better poems. You might have a lot of even better ones, and I may not be all that familiar with your poems. I struggled with the first two lines, but the rest was clear. I may have a slightly different take on the poem than the others, a matter of degrees on the compass. For me the important part was the freeing of the tarantula (if I read the poem right). I liked that act, the acceptance that we humans are not necessarily the center of the universe. This is a concept I've been revisiting through some of my reading lately. Thank you for posting this wonderful piece. Zak

Christine98 wrote:

No, not cancer again
Not the Holocaust [I didn't understand these opening lines]

Pet stores sell them in glass aquariums
with screens over the top [yes, good]

Maybe a Zen Master told you to take it home
hunkered, half-clenched fist behind the glass
on the car seat next to you
your skin in chills and bunches [very good, very clear. powerful]

Put it on the table
which is cleared and sunlit
cookies in a canister, curtains flounced
reams of paper on the counter [damn, this is good. new. I like your writing here]

Each leg drawn in relation to
the others and joined to the meaty center
a way of seeing
into which the creature is permitted [yes, this is hard to understand logically, so I'll leave it to the intuitive part of the brain]

You look up; the sun is setting
you carry the aquarium
to the edge of a field
lay it on its side, knock
the screen off with a stick
watch the scuttling parts recede [I like this very much]

Foreground into background
and gone.



Oct/7/2010, 12:59 pm Link to this post Send Email to Zakzzz5   Send PM to Zakzzz5
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


Zak,

Glad you liked this one! Your comments make me happy.

Chris
Oct/7/2010, 1:31 pm Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


Chris, my sense is that you've been a bit disconcerted lately by not having a poem to make. In my experience the fallow time is as necessary to poetry as is the flowering time. This new and strong thing of yours becomes my exhibit A.

Tere
Oct/7/2010, 6:29 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


Truth be told, Tere, I just write what's in front of me. Some things work out better than others...or meet with a warmer welcome.

Maybe there's something to what you say. I'm as clueless as ever about these things and grateful for readers who tell me what they think.

Chris
Oct/7/2010, 7:00 pm Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
libramoon Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


This piece is chilling and beautiful. Maybe it's the Zen Master.
Oct/8/2010, 5:24 pm Link to this post Send Email to libramoon   Send PM to libramoon Blog
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


Thanks, Libra. Good to see you around.

Chris
Oct/8/2010, 7:23 pm Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
libramoon Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


http://www.bio.umass.edu/biology/kunkel/rukeyser.html

ST. ROACH
by Muriel Rukeyser
from The Gates, McGraw-Hill, 1976
Oct/9/2010, 6:25 pm Link to this post Send Email to libramoon   Send PM to libramoon Blog
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


ooh. Wonderful poem, Libra. Thanks.

Chris
Oct/9/2010, 6:33 pm Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula


Hey Chris,

This is a keeper for sure. I love the visual precision of the descriptions. Just right for an artist's sensibility. These lines are intriguing:

"a way of seeing
into which the creature is permitted"

Strong ending:

"Foreground into background
and gone."

I like contemplating how these last two lines connect to the first two.

This poem feels like a bit of a departure for you, and/but I like it.

 

Oct/26/2010, 11:41 am Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 


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