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Drawing the Tarantula
No, not cancer again
Not the Holocaust
Pet stores sell them in glass aquariums
with screens over the top
Maybe a Zen Master told you to take it home
hunkered, half-clenched fist behind the glass
on the car seat next to you
your skin in chills and bunches
Put it on the table
which is cleared and sunlit
cookies in a canister, curtains flounced
reams of paper on the counter
Each leg drawn in relation to
the others and joined to the meaty center
a way of seeing
into which the creature is permitted
You look up; the sun is setting
you carry the aquarium
to the edge of a field
lay it on its side, knock
the screen off with a stick
watch the scuttling parts recede
Foreground into background
and gone.
Last edited by Christine98, Oct/6/2010, 12:29 pm
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Oct/6/2010, 12:28 pm
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula
Hi, Chris,
Really enjoyed this one. It's both philosophical and narrative and I like not seeing the I directly. The tarantula is very well described, esp. that word "meaty".
I"m not sure what this should mean: "a way of seeing into which the creature is permitted." If I take it at face value, it is a startling shift into the zen universe, where the creature is a sort of apparition. This gives me a satisfying uncanny thrill.
I like seeing these spiders on a dusty road. They seem to have real personalities, and they can run amazingly fast. The kings of insects!
Take care,
Auto
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Oct/6/2010, 12:42 pm
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula
You can surprise me sometimes, Chrisfriend. This thing has self-control. Wordsmithing meets moment to thought. Near perfect, or maybe it is the perfect, opening couplet. Like Auto I was struck by the Zen connection. And I am loving the echo of centering found on the kitchen(?) table in the sun light. Poem ends on a twist I was not expecting. Also perfect.
One thing maybe. Perhaps it is too obvious, but I would have called the poem "Drawing Out the Trantula," what for me works on more levels. This is one fine poem. Anyway, I get the chill you mean. Sometimes in the corner of a bee hive I'll come upon a black widow. Always the chill.
(Auto, at the expense of seeming really snarky or nerdy, spiders are arachnids, not insects. But I bet you knew that and chose to speak poeticly.)
Tere
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Oct/6/2010, 7:02 pm
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula
Dang, I wasn't sure, tere, but I did stop for half a second and ask myself if arachnids were subsumed under insects. Good that we have an insect expert here!
Auto
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Oct/6/2010, 7:21 pm
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula
Auto,
I'm glad you enjoyed...gotta say though, if I saw a tarantula coming down a dusty road at a clip, I'd !@#$. These guys are the kings of something, all right.
hey Tere,
glad you liked, yes, I was picturing a kitchen table. Thank you both for your comments, thank you very much.
Chris
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Oct/7/2010, 8:25 am
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula
Christine,
IMHO, this is one of your better poems. You might have a lot of even better ones, and I may not be all that familiar with your poems. I struggled with the first two lines, but the rest was clear. I may have a slightly different take on the poem than the others, a matter of degrees on the compass. For me the important part was the freeing of the tarantula (if I read the poem right). I liked that act, the acceptance that we humans are not necessarily the center of the universe. This is a concept I've been revisiting through some of my reading lately. Thank you for posting this wonderful piece. Zak
Christine98 wrote:
No, not cancer again
Not the Holocaust [I didn't understand these opening lines]
Pet stores sell them in glass aquariums
with screens over the top [yes, good]
Maybe a Zen Master told you to take it home
hunkered, half-clenched fist behind the glass
on the car seat next to you
your skin in chills and bunches [very good, very clear. powerful]
Put it on the table
which is cleared and sunlit
cookies in a canister, curtains flounced
reams of paper on the counter [damn, this is good. new. I like your writing here]
Each leg drawn in relation to
the others and joined to the meaty center
a way of seeing
into which the creature is permitted [yes, this is hard to understand logically, so I'll leave it to the intuitive part of the brain]
You look up; the sun is setting
you carry the aquarium
to the edge of a field
lay it on its side, knock
the screen off with a stick
watch the scuttling parts recede [I like this very much]
Foreground into background
and gone.
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Oct/7/2010, 12:59 pm
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula
Zak,
Glad you liked this one! Your comments make me happy.
Chris
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Oct/7/2010, 1:31 pm
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula
Chris, my sense is that you've been a bit disconcerted lately by not having a poem to make. In my experience the fallow time is as necessary to poetry as is the flowering time. This new and strong thing of yours becomes my exhibit A.
Tere
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Oct/7/2010, 6:29 pm
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula
Truth be told, Tere, I just write what's in front of me. Some things work out better than others...or meet with a warmer welcome.
Maybe there's something to what you say. I'm as clueless as ever about these things and grateful for readers who tell me what they think.
Chris
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Oct/7/2010, 7:00 pm
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula
This piece is chilling and beautiful. Maybe it's the Zen Master.
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Oct/8/2010, 5:24 pm
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula
Thanks, Libra. Good to see you around.
Chris
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Oct/8/2010, 7:23 pm
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula
ooh. Wonderful poem, Libra. Thanks.
Chris
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Oct/9/2010, 6:33 pm
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Re: Drawing the Tarantula
Hey Chris,
This is a keeper for sure. I love the visual precision of the descriptions. Just right for an artist's sensibility. These lines are intriguing:
"a way of seeing
into which the creature is permitted"
Strong ending:
"Foreground into background
and gone."
I like contemplating how these last two lines connect to the first two.
This poem feels like a bit of a departure for you, and/but I like it.
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Oct/26/2010, 11:41 am
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