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Alkiviades Profile
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Ephemeral Edith



2/1.
   A key on the the nightstand,
    a spare skin-cell collective sleeping nearby, and
    paper-airplanes migrating ever southward. All
    fore-gone conclusions I should have made,
    explanatory digressions she never sent.



1/2
 Hanging up-side down, vermillion
kneeling to pool...
   (drip, drop, drip, drop)
Chinese water torture in reverse until I run dry
  (drip, drop, drip, drop)
Intrernal craving of a child, begging ('Beseeching!) to be carressed by mother.
 (drip, drop, drip, drop)
 "Buy all the moves you want, the end-game strategy is on me."
 Her sign-language semantics slice the air, sans' significance.
 I'd trade her lake for ocean, if only I had taught me to swim.
 (drip, drop, drip, drop)

3.
  Needing a Golem, not wanting a man,
  She tumbled him in mud clay. Now,
  he sits immobile,
  waiting to be be stabled
  (but praying to be distilled).

4.
'' In some cases, sensation in the affected area is not lost, a kind of muscle-memory remains. Only when the patient reaches for something, only through a refelection of cold futility, does he/she realize that they are, in fact, an amputee."
Jul/31/2011, 7:06 pm Link to this post Send Email to Alkiviades   Send PM to Alkiviades Blog
 
libramoon Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


I bow in awe
spritely step upon the stage
pirouette, send applause exploding
into rafters and after
weep into a borrowed liminality
Jul/31/2011, 7:40 pm Link to this post Send Email to libramoon   Send PM to libramoon Blog
 
Alkiviades Profile
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posticon Re: Ephemeral Edith


OH! That was too kind!
The reply far more memorable we deserve!
 




Jul/31/2011, 7:54 pm Link to this post Send Email to Alkiviades   Send PM to Alkiviades Blog
 
elizabeth anne Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


Alki,

I need to keep coming back. I need to ponder on this.

But did want you to know I stopped by. Well, didn't just "stop by". Have been here, have read, have pondered, have listened, am still listening, and will return.

Liz
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Alkiviades Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


In retrospect, this piece would perhaps be more at home somewhere other than the "Poetry Spectrum" section of DM.

Ideally, the four sections of this piece would vary in position with each reading-experience...it is not the most accessible piece in the world and it could surely been done in a "smoother" fashion, but it would not have been an accurate presentation expresion's desire.

In general, I tend to experiment. I have been known to frustrate at times.
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Christine98 Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


hi Alkiviades,

I'm intrigued by #4, especially, "she tumbled him in mud clay" Not sure if "stabled" means
to be placed in a stable--or--to be stabilized. A golem is not an animal but a human-shaped object supernaturally endowed with life. (I'm not sure if a golem has to be made out of any particular substance --mud, clay,--now I'll have to google that.)

The images are good, A, interesting. I'd be really interested in knowing more about this "experiment."

Chris
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Katlin Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


Hi Alkiviades,

I was drawn in by the title of this poem. I read it as the N's take on the changing aspects of a relationship, or perhaps as a creation myth of sorts. Then I read your comment:

"Ideally, the four sections of this piece would vary in position with each reading-experience...it is not the most accessible piece in the world and it could surely been done in a "smoother" fashion, but it would not have been an accurate presentation expresion's desire."
 
I like that notion. Wish there was some way to make it happen technically on the board. Knowing that is your intention certainly adds to the experimental nature of the piece.
 
Each section has some intriguing parts in it:

a spare skin-cell collective sleeping nearby

Hanging up-side down, vermillion
kneeling to pool...

(but praying to be distilled).

only through a refelection of cold futility, (This is more d/haunting than intriquing.)

Maybe less a creation myth and more a re-creation myth. Or an attempt at one. The "she" trying to re/make the "him" over into her desired image and how that relates to the N's own desires. Hmm, the more I read the piece, the more d/haunting it becomes. Lots of mystery and open spaces left in, and between, the parts.

BTW, a belated welcome to DM from me! If you like what you see, I hope you'll stick around.

Last edited by Katlin, Aug/13/2011, 12:35 pm
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Alkiviades Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


Here goes,

-it helps to know that the poem is about a relationship between an older woman and a younger man. I will try and point out a few things, though not all.

2/1-1/2. this takes place in reality(?)
I tried to describe a scene of abandonment,
inevitable-loss, things unsaid. The day she left, it was exactly like this


1/2-2/1 the whole world is turned upside- down and the young man is being emptied, fate sealed, he hopes for salvation...the words, the motions,all this is the beginning of her fabrication process

3-I have read of Golem being mud or clay and I wanted to use the image of him being greated in this way.The Golem is controlled by others and has no indepedent-thought. Now that he is empty on the inside , he is "stablized", but he is not truly dead and thus he is "praying to be distilled", freed of this life he has fallen into.

4-this is a voice from some old documentary that keeps playing in the young mans head, a reminder that something is missing


 It was "ephemereal" in length, but it had long-lasting impications on his/my psyche.
I hope I have not confused too much.

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Christine98 Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


Thank you for the explanation, it is helpful.
I don't know what to make of the numbering; 2/1
and 1/2. Does this have something to do with the chronology of events? 2/1 is the present and 1/2 is a flashback? First she emptied and re-made him, then she left. I think that's the only part that still confuses.

Thanks again for the explanation.

Chris
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Terreson Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


Even without your explanation I got the poem's sense.

I remember several times when a young man being on the road, without family, friends, or money,or panhandling in a city or, once, working with migrant farm workers picking fruit. Then there was the time I was involved with an older, married woman who dropped me suddenly to go back to her husband. (My very own maggie May.) With a crash I realized she hadn't loved me, just wanted my then young body. In all cases, and in others, even before the age of 21, I had been shorn of all conceit, of all the things, trappings, accoutrements, relations that give us a sense of identity, that give us the illusion we are somebody. I've tried to express what it means, to me at least, when a man understands he is nobody, he is nothing. The poem is called "Images of Invisibility." A perfect title for that existential moment of truth, realizing you are nobody, and a moment, if survived, that becomes the core of a man's strength. Maybe even spiritual strength.

So this is the chord your poem touches on. I hope I got it right.

Some quite good lines and phrases here. "Muscle-memory" especially #4 cinches the expression for me.

Tere
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Alkiviades Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


Thank you.
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Katlin Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


Yes, thank you for the explanation, A. I keep going back you your comment:

"Ideally, the four sections of this piece would vary in position with each reading-experience..."

Again, I like the notion, which allows for mutliple readings, different time sequences, varying nuances in causality. Four poems in one in a way. Or maybe five. If the poem had been done in "a smoother fashion," I think the experimental aspect of the poem would have come across as gimmicky, slick and would have been less effective.

Last edited by Katlin, Aug/15/2011, 7:44 am
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Alkiviades Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


Tere,
 Yes indeed, your eloquent "take" on the meaning/feeling/experience I attempt to relate in "EE" is exactly what I had in mind. It is uncanny how "dead-on" your words are.

 Is that poem you mentioned on DM? I looked for it, but I did not find it. I would like to read your take on this experience.

Kat,
Thank you for encouraging the experimental nature of the piece. I rarely write poetry in traditional-form for a variety of reasons, so it is therefore a treat to have picqued your interest with the concept. That is more than I could hope for, considering the species of the work.

A very rewarding commentary, ladies and gents. Thank You!

alki
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Terreson Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


Alki, I would post the poem by way of reply but I don't want to clutter your space. Poem is the first in my Bottom City Blues thread in the forum Ateliers.

Tere
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culdesac101 Profile
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Re: Ephemeral Edith


Hi Alki. The chinese water torture reminded me how recovery from illness/injury/depression can be such a protracted, frustrating process sometimes.
as for nits,i found the 'drip drop &c' a bit jarring tho. not because i wasn't expecting it, but because once i read it i kinda was & i didn't want to.
thanks for posting
arka

p.s. paper planes migrating ever southward is a killer.

Last edited by culdesac101, Aug/26/2011, 10:26 pm
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