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sambyfield Profile
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Andalucía


Andalucía

Barely a word between us from Cordoba
to Granada. The sign on the bus says
there’s wifi, but there’s not.

The woman in front buzzes with anxiety –
fidgeting, phone calls, shifting her seat
up and down, glancing around

like she’s scared people are looking
at her and worried they might not be.
We missed the midday train so I threw

a tantrum, stamped my feet and swore
like an angry Visigoth. All the world
for an English newspaper and a meal

that isn’t bite sized. Just beyond the city
a galaxy of olive trees. A castle,
then white towns, like shells heaped

in the landscape’s folds, and the Sierra
Nevada, a hound dozing in the snow.
Mar/7/2012, 6:25 am Link to this post Send Email to sambyfield   Send PM to sambyfield
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: Andalucía


hi Sam,

I think of Andalucia as a briefly achieved perfection; proof of our positive potential. Mythical in a way, like Camelot.

I love the poem's progress from the petty, every-day prosaic...to...A castle,/then white towns,like shells heaped/in the landscape's folds ...an ethereal image bracketed by ...a galaxy of olive trees...and...the Sierra/ Nevada, a hound dozing in the snow.

Beautiful control of language and images to achieve that effect.

Good to see you around here from time to time, Sam,

Chris
Mar/8/2012, 10:56 am Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
libramoon Profile
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Re: Andalucía


Yes, this is a soft, undulating song or short story moving the viewer along into a journey from now to a very precious then.
Mar/8/2012, 4:30 pm Link to this post Send Email to libramoon   Send PM to libramoon Blog
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: Andalucía


Hi Sam,

What I like best about the poem is the progress Chris noted, from the micro- to the macrocosmic. I also like that the N confesses to his falliblity, his humanity, and in so doing, encourages me to trust his vision and want to go on the journey with him. The imagery and language used to describe the scenery in the last two stanzas are lovely.
Mar/8/2012, 4:33 pm Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
sambyfield Profile
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Re: Andalucía


Thanks very much everyone, lovely to see you. Glad this seems to be working.
Mar/8/2012, 9:38 pm Link to this post Send Email to sambyfield   Send PM to sambyfield
 
queenfisher Profile
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Re: Andalucía


love your personalized snapshots of different places.

speaks volumes about the race / the culture

it's like sending a picture postcard - the choice so personal & yet exemplifying the place.

the mood is set from the very first stanza:
the bus says
there’s wifi, but there’s not.

already one sees the crowds, the heat the dust & the woman's picture clear as crystal.

naturally - the tantrum! nice effect esp. the english newspaper!

galaxy of olive trees -
white towns, like shells heaped
in the landscape’s folds

beautiful images!




 
Mar/9/2012, 7:32 am Link to this post Send Email to queenfisher   Send PM to queenfisher Blog
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: Andalucía


Sam, I've been reading your stuff for how long now? I knew your poetry before Katrina came to town. So it has been at least 7 years. This is not a poem about place, something at which you excell. This is a poem about being a tourist.

Tere
Mar/9/2012, 10:36 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
Zakzzz5 Profile
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Re: Andalucía


Sambyfield,

Long time now see. You'll have to tell us where you've been lately, how your poetry is progressing.

For me, this poem was not quite up to your normally very high levels of execution. Nevertheless, it was probably better than most of what I see on the net. The linkages of the imagery in the poem hang together well. There was a complex human interaction going on, a back and forth between the land and the interiority of the people on the bus. In that way, you used the imagery well.

I feel the drive toward the end of the poem could be more direct, stronger, but I would need to read it a few more times to be certain about this.

On a personal note, I guess you used "bite" sized meal as a metaphor, rather than as a reflection of reality. When we were in La Mancha, we had huge meals of rabbit and so forth. Same in Seville. Never had a bite-sized meal. That's neither here nor there for the poem, though.

Enjoyed it. Tell us what you've been up to.
Zak

ps -- I did not read any of the comments before commenting.

Andalucía

Barely a word between us from Cordoba
to Granada. The sign on the bus says
there’s wifi, but there’s not. [First impression is that the silence between them is symbolic of the open, silent spaces of the countryside of Andalusia.]

The woman in front buzzes with anxiety –
fidgeting, phone calls, shifting her seat
up and down, glancing around [This woman is a contrast with the silences, the surface calm of Andalusia.]

like she’s scared people are looking
at her and worried they might not be.
We missed the midday train so I threw [Here the narrator is pulling away from the experience of the land to the muddle of the interior woman's life.]

a tantrum, stamped my feet and swore
like an angry Visigoth. All the world
for an English newspaper and a meal [Then he goes from the woman's interiority to his own frustration. The reference to the Visigoth is a reference to his own "foreigness" in this land.]

that isn’t bite sized. Just beyond the city
a galaxy of olive trees. A castle,
then white towns, like shells heaped [He contrasts his world back home with what he has experienced so far in this land. He wants a full meal, and so this creates a bit of frustration for him. Perhaps he's reacting subconsciously to the barrenness of the land. The aridness relates to lack of food, perhaps.]

in the landscape’s folds, and the Sierra
Nevada, a hound dozing in the snow. [Not sure about the ending. Perhaps it is meant to show how the native, the "hound" is acclimatized to the land and can doze even in the snow.]
 


Last edited by Zakzzz5, Mar/11/2012, 9:43 am
Mar/11/2012, 9:29 am Link to this post Send Email to Zakzzz5   Send PM to Zakzzz5
 
sambyfield Profile
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Re: Andalucía


Howdy Zak, sure is long time no see. Things are good with me, still writing and publishing though not as much as i'd like. I'm working on getting a full length collection published, it's been a long process.

I appreciate your comments on this-

Sam



Last edited by sambyfield, Mar/14/2012, 10:31 pm
Mar/14/2012, 10:15 pm Link to this post Send Email to sambyfield   Send PM to sambyfield
 


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