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Terreson Profile
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City Night's Sky


City Night's Sky

I can still see her the way she was, her first night's love. It is the way she must have been for him. It was in the early night's sky that was opaline and smooth. It was in the way she hid her deepest night's bedding behind the milky blue. It was in the goat's cream washing her feet that made her seem so young. It was in the way she would have been hanging for him, just out of finger's reach, the way she was hanging this year.

But when I saw her, it was a city night's shield that was pushing back against the blackness and stretching it candescently. She was walking along the shield's surface, a fulling moon and clear. I was walking on New York's east side, somewhere past 87th St. And just where an avenue had been gouged out of the city mask, she swayed once and gave off love's breeze. She was just so close, so girlishly close. In two days she would be rounding herself, and I would be in Spain. Gypsy brows brooding, gypsy skirts fulling too, and the serenade.

It must have been the way she was for him. It must have been in the way she touched herself like a pearldrop melting in wine. How else would she have persuaded him out of the mud that oozed so safely?
May/25/2012, 8:45 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
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Re: City Night's Sky


This may be said in bad form. I have writing more flambouant, more impacting, more affecting, more pyrotechnic, even sexier. But nothing, no vision more essential, purer than right here. I count all of 229 words. Slight and slender. Right here demonstrates why I think prose poetry a superior form. And hardest to get right.

In selective breeding there is a thing called an F1. You take an animal with certain, desirable traits and you outcross it with another animal without the specific traits but with others equally as desirable. If the traits are dominant they will carry over into the next generation. That is how I view the prose poem. An F1. It goes with Baudelaire's definition of prose poetry:

~Which one of us, in his moments of ambition, has not dreamed of the miracle of a poetic prose, musical, without rhythm and without rhyme, supple enough and rugged enough to adapt itself to the lyrical impulses of the soul, the undulations of reverie, the jibes of conscience?~

I forget about my writing. Can come across it and have to work at remembering even that I wrote it. If I think it succceeded to its objective, of course that is the prize. I can remember when and where I wrote this prose poem, when and where it was set. It happened 30 years ago. Goes without saying you can never know how you succeeded. If you discover something, say, 30 years later, you had not noticed before, that is the bigger prize. Or maybe you have not let yourself notice what eventually you let yourself notice, being ready.

Piece will likely not generate much interest. Not a problem. I know its provenance. One more instance of bad form. I remember reading how the ancients were fond of melting pearls in wine in order to ingest them. I'm pretty sure Cleopatra was particularly fond of the practice. Sounds fantastical and hard to believe. But, in fact, it is true. Because of its chemical composition anything acidic will melt pearls. So my pearldrop image is neither poetry or a product of the imagination. Recorded information is all.

May/26/2012, 1:07 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
vkp Profile
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Re: City Night's Sky


The moment about the pearl may be recorded information, but it is used poetically and that makes all the difference.

This is a beautiful paean to the goddess, the moon, a woman, an object of love or desire -- whatever it may or could or will be or has been or might have been....

I love the blending of the mystical and reverential with the physical reality of East 87th Street (coincidentally my neighborhood as a little girl so I have immediate images swarming my mind) and the notion of a plane traveling to Spain. Anchors it wonderfully in the here and now. Or rather, the there and then.
Jun/16/2012, 2:16 pm Link to this post Send Email to vkp   Send PM to vkp Blog
 
carolinex Profile
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Re: City Night's Sky


Hey Tere! I found you again! Don't ask exactly how!
I really enjoyed reading this. I don't understand it but that probably doesn't matter to you. I find the metaphor beautiful though the sense of who is she in relation to the narrator isn't clear to me.

Best,

Caroline


City Night's Sky

I can still see her the way she was, her first night's love. It is the way she must have been for him. It was in the early night's sky that was opaline and smooth. It was in the way she hid her deepest night's bedding behind the milky blue. It was in the goat's cream washing her feet that made her seem so young. It was in the way she would have been hanging for him, just out of finger's reach, the way she was hanging this year. This whole section is so sensuous and yummy to read.

But when I saw her, it was a city night's shield that was pushing back against the blackness and stretching it candescently. She was walking along the shield's surface, a fulling moon (I think it might work not to spell out the word moon at all in the piece) and clear. I was walking on New York's east side, somewhere past 87th St. And just where an avenue had been gouged out of the city mask, she swayed once and gave off love's breeze. She was just so close, so girlishly close (womanishly doesn't quite work does it emoticon ). In two days she would be rounding herself, and I would be in Spain. Gypsy brows brooding, gypsy skirts fulling too, and the serenade.

It must have been the way she was for him. It must have been in the way she touched herself like a pearldrop melting in wine. How else would she have persuaded him out of the mud (I find the mud image a jarring contrast) that oozed so safely?

Last edited by carolinex, Jun/19/2012, 2:10 pm
Jun/19/2012, 2:01 pm Link to this post Send PM to carolinex
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: City Night's Sky


Thank you Caroline for reading and commenting. Glad you found the board again. You have been missed.

Tere
Jun/22/2012, 3:57 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
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Re: City Night's Sky


reading this is like - being in a vast open space watching a clear night sky full of stars!! & of course the moon!

some lines fairly sparkle!

Jun/26/2012, 4:05 am Link to this post Send Email to queenfisher   Send PM to queenfisher Blog
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: City Night's Sky


Thank you, Queen.

Tere
Jul/7/2012, 2:48 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 


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