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arkava Profile
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"illusion and nirvana are one, not distinct"


room in moving sunset. each oar in her stomach tilts to the touch.
“i must walk with you on the sand and between you and me
we must learn how to keep to ourselves what’s ours”
where ours changes to oars in her small voice
which feeds back to my dearest own
like a diamond grows a mouth before the backwash
losing it “i am also hungry feed me with your hands”
(the sun a chance-lit bird in the migratory sunset)

Last edited by arkava, Aug/19/2012, 8:41 am
Aug/19/2012, 12:11 am Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: "illusion and nirvana are one, not distinct"


Hi arka,

What a lovely, intimate love poem. Like love itself, the poem simple and complex at the same time. Real and mysterious, both. All of these qualities reverberate well with the title.

I love the first and last lines and the way the two work together to create a kind of enclosure within the poem. Or seen another way, make the poem itself a kind of enclosure, like a secret garden or an alchemist's retort.

The image of walking on sand is a viseral, as anyone who has walked on sand knows, and brings to mind the notion shifting sands without you having to say so.

I hesitate to suggest any changes, but I'll make one for you to use or lose as you see fit:

perhaps drop "not distinct" from the title

It took me a while to figure out the ours/oars word play in its fullest implication, but now that I have I think it is first-rate.

Thanks for posting this. Much enjoyed.

Last edited by Katlin, Aug/20/2012, 8:57 am
Aug/19/2012, 1:12 pm Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
arkava Profile
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Re: "illusion and nirvana are one, not distinct"


quote:

Katlin wrote:

Hi arka,

What a lovely, intimate love poem. Like love itself, the poem simple and complex at the same time. Real and mysterious, both. All of these qualities reverberate well with the title.

I love the first and last lines and the way the two work together to create a kind of enclosure within the poem. Or seen another way, make the poem itself a kind of enclosure, like a secret garden or an alchemist's retort.

The image of walking on sand is a viseral, as anyone who has walked on sand knows, and brings to mind the notion shifting sands without you having to say so.

I hesitate to suggest any changes, but I'll make one for you to use or lose as you see fit:

perhaps drop "not distinct" from the title

It took me a while to figure out the ours/oars word play in its fullest implication, but now that I have I think it is first-rate.

Thanks for posting this. Much enjoyed.



thanks so much for the generous read Kat. "the poem as a kind of enclosure" describes pretty much how i think of poetry or what attracts me to poetry. and i think in that context a feverish search for meaning seems almost inbuilt, or a sense of/quest for mystery that your alchemy mention so forcefully brings to mind. love your reading of the sand and the connection between the first and last lines. the title's taken from the prajnaparamita where the monk subhuti is instructing the gods. "All the dharmas are ... like a dream ... even the stream-entrant ...the once-returner ... the non-returner ... the private buddha ... the perfect buddha ... (they are all) like a dream " you can imagine how excited i got about this dream slant to the entire thing. so different from the hindu maya.

i was also hesitant about leaving in the not distinct but then went for it. will think on it again. i am really heartened that you read this for what it is. a love poem.

thank you,
arka
Aug/19/2012, 5:58 pm Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 
queenfisher Profile
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Re: "illusion and nirvana are one, not distinct"


shifting sands is exactly the image that comes to mind - reading the poem - the impermenence & yet the enclosure which seems complete - like a circle.

philosophy runs deep within the lines - an integral part of - not separate from outside.
don't quite know how to express this - but your lines seem to be entwined with a delicate tendril...

like the opening:

room in moving sunset - which sets the poem sailing...

like: migratory sunset

& your title really sets one thinking!

is nirvana an illusion?
or is illusion nirvana?
do both mean the same or different things?
there are many interpretations to the hindu maya as there is to buddhism - & it goes on expanding - as limitless as the cosmos! sometimes i feel the asian spiritualits/ philosophers / thinkers / sages / saints
were extremely clever & incorporated just about everything! physics & science too! so when questioned by the western physicists / philosophers etc. - they seem to be having all the answers! i wonder if you've read the Tao of physics by Fritjof Capra which draws similarities between modern physics & eastern mysticism!
Aug/20/2012, 1:55 am Link to this post Send Email to queenfisher   Send PM to queenfisher Blog
 
arkava Profile
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Re: "illusion and nirvana are one, not distinct"


thanks for the detailed read queenfisher. you are very right. moving sunset migratory sunset etc somehow are entwined. i have been reading up a bit on mahayana(rt now on the lankavatara) and love the intricate thoughts there. tho maybe ideally i should not. but then again, nibbana can wait while i keep reading this stuff as poetry :-D

thanks!!
arka
Aug/21/2012, 11:47 pm Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 
ineese Profile
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Re: "illusion and nirvana are one, not distinct"


I thought this read very smoothly
and the narrative at the ending
very nicely suited to the piece.
Aug/22/2012, 9:21 pm Link to this post Send PM to ineese Blog
 
arkava Profile
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Re: "illusion and nirvana are one, not distinct"


Hey, thanks ineese!! emoticon

arka
Aug/25/2012, 2:45 am Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 


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