Rainbow https://bdelectablemnts.runboard.com/t2028 Runboard| Rainbow en-us Fri, 29 Mar 2024 07:39:27 +0000 Fri, 29 Mar 2024 07:39:27 +0000 https://www.runboard.com/ rssfeeds_managingeditor@runboard.com (Runboard.com RSS feeds managing editor) rssfeeds_webmaster@runboard.com (Runboard.com RSS feeds webmaster) akBBS 60 Re: Rainbowhttps://bdelectablemnts.runboard.com/p14214,from=rss#post14214https://bdelectablemnts.runboard.com/p14214,from=rss#post14214Hi Magy, I love the way you took the prompt and really ran with it, making it your own. Overall, the images here are striking and original. For example, "ratty moonlight" is terrific, and I'm taken by the image of red and blue making love and bleeding together. One line I am unsure about is the last line of Green. It doesn't seem as unexpected or as whimsical as the other images, but, as they say, that could be me. Agree that the title doesn't do the poem justice. I, too, thought of a color wheel, and Tere mentions chakras, which I had not thought of. Which leads me to a question: how did you arrive at the order of the stanzas? I understand why you started as you did, but after that--? IOW, I'm wondering if this is the best order for the poem? Or perhaps in a way the order is irrelevant, the stanza order interchangeable? I can almost envision this as an interactive poem in which you have the title, and then blocks of color the reader can click on to reveal the words. nondisclosed_email@example.com (Katlin)Wed, 12 Dec 2012 18:02:48 +0000 Re: Rainbowhttps://bdelectablemnts.runboard.com/p14199,from=rss#post14199https://bdelectablemnts.runboard.com/p14199,from=rss#post14199dear magy you've added so much color to color - an infinite wisdom & meaning!nondisclosed_email@example.com (queenfisher)Tue, 11 Dec 2012 05:00:01 +0000 Re: Rainbowhttps://bdelectablemnts.runboard.com/p14198,from=rss#post14198https://bdelectablemnts.runboard.com/p14198,from=rss#post14198I like these so much. They are startling. The idea could become trite immediately in the wrong hands and you have managed to do something with each color that is fresh, and that makes the reader say, "Well, damn... yeah." So many strong and wake-me-up images and lines here. Red starts the suite strong, and then from Purple on -- timpani resounding, bam, bam, bam. Not to discount the ones between. They are all good. Purple sticks with me as my favorite, though! I like the shape you follow with each small poem. It does not seem contrived; the shape works visually and the pieces have a rhythm inherent in the shape you've chosen to give them. Two small quibbles. Title -- definitely undermines, or underwhelms.... The pieces are too excellent to be reduced to a mere rainbow. Nothing against rainbows, but it is too simplistic for this. Also, you go places the rainbow doesn't go. The other thing I notice is that many of the individual poems start with "I". The first person approach is perfect, but you may want to twiddle with the opening word on a few of them. vkpnondisclosed_email@example.com (vkp)Mon, 10 Dec 2012 23:24:00 +0000 Re: Rainbowhttps://bdelectablemnts.runboard.com/p14197,from=rss#post14197https://bdelectablemnts.runboard.com/p14197,from=rss#post14197This is such a good poem. I did not comment on it in the Sunday Prompt thread because I do not want to in anyway deflect from the delightful, unselfconscious stuff going on there. Here I can go cursive. Poem kind of answers how it is a painting, how colors and hues, can affect the emotions. That maks me stop. S1 is so audacious. That took guts. I notice how it also sets out poem's plan. Each color to take on a chakra, in a sense. That's what the poem does, you know. Poem proceeds from there. Yes. Each of your colors speaks to me in the soma way. Now for a problem. Poem now ready for a new title. Title too small for what poem is after. Also. Roy G. Biv is how I learned the rainbow. But poem's plan diverges from the formula half-way through. In a good way, but diverges none the less. So here is what I think, Magy. I don't think you've exhausted your prompt. Terenondisclosed_email@example.com (Terreson)Mon, 10 Dec 2012 20:16:16 +0000 Rainbowhttps://bdelectablemnts.runboard.com/p14194,from=rss#post14194https://bdelectablemnts.runboard.com/p14194,from=rss#post14194I originally wrote this for Poetry Sundays on Chalkboard and Billboard, but I wanted to get some feedback so I'm posting it here too! Rainbow Red I am shame in a little girl’s underwear. I’d give her my power if only she’d tilt me toward the light. Orange I don’t want to haunt you. I’m tired of burning endlessly, a beam of light in a costumed night. Yellow I rise from the seam between ocean and sky, an anchor in an endless curve. Green I am the color you see when you dream of your childhood. I am innocence in the shape of an unfurled bud. Blue I am inside you: infinite above your head, and beneath your swimming toes. Purple Red and blue made love and bled together. I swirled into being beside my chilly father, my mother a rainbow away. Black I am absolute. I come to you in blinks, the color that birthed the world. White I’ll blind you if you look at me straight. I am unstained because I have not lived. Gray Ratty moonlight: curl inside me and sleep. It’s impossible to know everything. Brown Don’t say I’m dirty. I am your mother, spinning dizzily beneath your feet. nondisclosed_email@example.com (magyproductions)Sun, 09 Dec 2012 20:41:00 +0000