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arkava Profile
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"the sudden weakening of the wave"


this monastery is airbrushed
b/w cramped buildings and cables

every time i click amitabha buddha
there is a pleasant electric hum

which goes beyond religion really
a nerve twitch close to it
         
touching your face w/o knowing where it is
decoupled from the time of day

an intuitive locus
“i can tell the time w/o looking out”

like coffee binds me to my books
and there is a rise and a fall

in line with every new story
that fails to see the light of day

Last edited by arkava, Mar/31/2013, 11:56 pm
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Bernie01 Profile
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


Arkava---

i think a great deal of this poem.

it manages to be both real and intimate while simultaneously keeping a certain distance from this reader.

a delicacy that i liked.

a tone i liked.

the selection of subject matter i liked most of all. i thought these lines were exceptionally good:


touching your face w/o knowing where it is
decoupled from the time of day

an intuitive locus
“i can tell the time w/o looking out”

like coffee binds me to my books
and there is a rise and a fall

in line with every new story
that fails to see the light of day


a wonderful juxtoposition of statement and image.

a poem demanding a second and more readings.

bernie



---
Fall

Bob Grenier: the leaves / falling / out of the / water by the / table
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Christine98 Profile
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


hi arka,

I'm with bernie. This poem hangs in an elusive space with clarity. Like performing magic with language.

Chris

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arkava Profile
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


hey bernie. thanks so much for the read and the good words. we have a lot of overhead cables here in my locality. (and open drains too.but tht's a diff story) and sodium vapor lamps. so you can imagine. evenings as abstractions. very low key though.i mean if you look closely you can figure out the shadows and the tension in the network. otherwise it's plain shitty. anyway, i stated reading kandinsky thinking he'd help me see things more objectively/ analytically. ha ha. the way it's going till now, no chance of tht happening. anyway i was not very sure about posting this but i badly needed some feedback. i went through a phase where i was simply splicing words. so the first challenege for me is writing in sentences. i know how tht sounds. anyway. the other thing is abstractions. i can't help but think abstractly or at least w/o grasping details. i can't remember street names, direction etc w/o making an effort. this has been the case since i was a kid. unfortunately this also means i tend to write in cliches. here i was trying to balance it out. good to know it wasn't a complete failure. especially what you said about "statement and image". hey tht is exactly what i am trying to balance.

yours,
arka
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arkava Profile
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


quote:

Christine98 wrote:

hi arka,

I'm with bernie. This poem hangs in an elusive space with clarity. Like performing magic with language.

Chris




hey, thanks chris. clarity is sweet to my ears. i mean it's funny. on one hand i don't want to describe things or talk about feelings etc. because my mind doesn't work tht way. on the other hand i (now) want my language to be as lucid as possible. or as simple as possible i guess. that way it seems it gets easier to get at those places i cannot talk abut otherwise. but i need someone to tell me/ discuss with me whether it's just pure description/ bad poetry or not. the quote's from kandinsky. finally got a pdf i can read on my kindle.much love

arka
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vkp Profile
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


Sometimes the commentary of a poet in a thread is as compelling and moving as a posted poem. I find that to be the case here with your last response to Katlin. I do not find a fingerprint of a cliche here in this poem except maybe the phrase "light of day." I like these lines especially:
quote:

every time i click amitabha buddha
there is a pleasant electric hum

which goes beyond religion really
a nerve twitch close to it


"Nerve twitch" -- yup yup yup.
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arkava Profile
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


thanks vkp. it's the discussions that pull me back to the forums all the time. see, for me this is all very real. these discussions/ interactions i mean. my strongest link to reality (at least when it comes to poetry). here i can really discuss stuff you know? and can listen in on conversations. thanks for the hit on nerve twitch. i wanted to write that exactly and did but then had second thots later on. one thing settled. emoticon

arka
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Katlin Profile
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


hi arka,

I like the way this starts off with a strong image, one that is both original and evocative. I also like "pleasant electric hum" and "a nerve twitch close to it" as ways to describe the sensations/vibrations the N is picking up on, experiencing.

touching your face w/o knowing where it is
decoupled from the time of day

Wow, those are my favorite lines in the poem. Perfect, really. "decoupled" is a wonderful word choice. The next two lines are also strong:

an intuitive locus
“i can tell the time w/o looking out”

I looked at the way you've ended the poem on a cliche, and since I trust you as a writer, I didn't dismiss the choice out-of-hand, but asked myself, Why has he said it that way? For me, the choice anchors the poem, brings it down to earth and relates the stories that never come to fruition back to the airbrushed monastery at the beginning. Not that the poem has come full circle but that the poem is part of a loop. Or rather that the poem, or more precisely the experience in the poem, is one loop in a series of loops. As the N says, "every time i click amitabha buddha" so this is something that "happens" or "occurs".

I think the use of abbreviations (b/w and w/o) work well to give the reader a sense of process/ing and the speed of thought/perception. It also helps you retain a certain reader-friendly informality in your work even as you are trying to write in complete sentences, as you mentioned to Bernie.

HTH somehow,
Kat
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arkava Profile
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


thanks kat. there’s this tibetan monastery near my apt. it looks i have been struggling to incorporate it somehow you know? i look at it every morning (sometimes afternoons) on my way to the station. prayer flags and thungka. it looks i don’t know very much at ease among all the alleys and cramped houses and motorbikes and vegetable remains. the poem is part of a loop, a virtuality that way for me i guess. it’s part of a circuit tht sees me through the day. you got it rt. “sensations/ vibrations” is the clsoest i can come to describing the impact of tht daily walk on me. not tht the poem is about the walk you know. but it’s an experience i am trying to talk about. it’s confusing sometimes when you are not in the thrum of things. i mean how do i know if i am having a genuine experience where everything is heightened or just accessing perception everyone else is privy to? thankfully during the experience all that questioning damps down. on good days.

hope you and yours are well. much love,

arka


Last edited by arkava, Apr/6/2013, 12:13 am
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Terreson Profile
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


!@#$. This is a damn good poem. Devotional and critical in the same breath. I think I get what you are after. Trying to bridge a disjunct between tradition and modernity. Is that what you are after here?

Tere
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


Arka,

I didn't intend to comment this morning, not on this poem anyway. But reading it, and then with the comments, I was compelled to. Definitely a storyline here, but still ambiguous. As you yourself say, it is loaded with abstractions, but good ones. Definitely not the way I write, but it provides visions to the edge. Zak



 b]arkava wrote:

this monastery is airbrushed
b/w cramped buildings and cables [This is good. The poem as a whole, while not being as sharp, as edgy as some of your other work, is more clear somehow. There appears to be a thread we can follow more easily, believe it or not.]

every time i click amitabha buddha
there is a pleasant electric hum [A question came to me? Arka lives in India. India has one foot sort of in the West. But it is the home of Buddhism (I believe) and Hinduism. So how do Indians view the Pope? To us, in the West, the Dalai Lama is is this mysterious holy man. Is it the same way in reverse with the Pope? Or not?]

which goes beyond religion really
a nerve twitch close to it [When you say "beyond religion" how can that be? Religion in its truest and highest form transcends all being. How can that be? Maybe you mean the trappings of institutional religion?]
         
touching your face w/o knowing where it is
decoupled from the time of day

an intuitive locus
“i can tell the time w/o looking out” [On a pedestrian level I am reminded of working in a sealed, windowless Intelligence building in Vietnam. Thick walls. But I could always tell when it was overcast outside. Like I had antennae. My head would feel stuffed. Uncanny. Of course, this you have here is on a higher plane.]

like coffee binds me to my books
and there is a rise and a fall

in line with every new story
that fails to see the light of day

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arkava Profile
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


thanks for the kind words tere. well, i am trying to balance things or want to start balancing things inside me. i mean say i rememebr a rainy day in the mountains. how am i going to talk about tht memory y'know? there was no story there. i can't eevn rememebr details. writing from a place like tht. a yearning and nothing more. that sort of thing. balanced with some sort of perspective i guess th's what i am shooting for these days. most of the time i can't stay suspended b/w one or the oother state, even psychologically i mean.
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arkava Profile
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


hey zak, i guess i am trying to write from a very personal space. nothing cryptic but more dehumanized than what happens usually in poems. i mean more of that thing that vibration coming through you know? i mean you look at paramecium and you think !@#$ tht is art as well. so what's really happening is you are accessing the "fearful symmetry" (lol) inherent in nature. something like mathematics. accessing some sort of incompleteness that still explains a lot. the buddhist references hv less to do with religion and more to do with the place i am writing from you know? buddhism originatd in india. but now it's relatively unknown. just like the pope. so there is no real reason i should be including buddhist scriptures etc in my poems. but you know there' the kick. i feel out of place here in india as well as whatever i hear/ read about "elsewhere." i mean people for the most part are the same, and i have this tendency to shut myself off from whatever's happening around me. politics, wars etc. not socially aware. if you kept me in a cage and admnistered lsd at intervals i would possibly volunteer for it.

arka
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


dear arkava

enjoyed reading your poem - a spiritual thread runs through your poems - like flowing water - i get images of water every time i read your poems - gentle flowing water - with gentle sounds - the whole effect is very calming & soothing.

i'm not a big fan of abbreviations - but i see katlin's view point

i like the description of the monastery cramped b/w buildings & cables - that's how it is in the cities - except ladakh!
 the electric hum from the buddha then becomes very logical!

love the closing:

and there is a rise and a fall

in line with every new story
that fails to see the light of day

& zak if i may barge in: spirituality does go beyond religion so you're right when you say trappings of institutional religion

if i may answer as an indian - the sheer pomp & grandeur of the vatican & the pope is quite mind-boggling!


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arkava Profile
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Re: "the sudden weakening of the wave"


thanks q :-) i think tht's what i am trying to do here. trying to create a space for meditation etc.

haven't been to ladakh. want to but too lazy. feel a need to travel tho these days.

yrs
arka
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