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Christine98 Profile
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Tapeta Lucida


The coffee mug, ringed
with glazed berries, gouged
along the lip but woven in
such that its absence
would unravel the morning

the membrane behind which
we wake, shielded from
night's bright tapestry.
May/2/2013, 10:00 am Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
Bernie01 Profile
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Re: Tapeta Lucida


C---

no likey.

sorry.

first, this


Tapeta Lucida


just too big and obscure, a stretch.

sorry. sorry.


The coffee mug, ringed
with glazed berries,


even here, pretty but just wrong. (has Starbucks reached added a new menu item?)


especially, since the poem wants to highlight the last lines:

the membrane behind which
we wake, shielded from
night's bright tapestry.



membranes/glazed berries?

once again, a stretch for me. why not just talk to me?


night's bright tapestry


sorry to be so negative, but this line seems stuck on, like a false moustache on a child.

i like the fundamental idea, as i understand, the idea that our eyes obscure our world even as we wake looking out at a new day.


bernie













Last edited by Bernie01, May/2/2013, 3:16 pm


---
Fall

Bob Grenier: the leaves / falling / out of the / water by the / table
May/2/2013, 3:14 pm Link to this post Send Email to Bernie01   Send PM to Bernie01 Blog
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: Tapeta Lucida


Thanks for your thoughts, bernie emoticon

Chris
May/2/2013, 5:32 pm Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
queenfisher Profile
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Re: Tapeta Lucida


this little piece is quite a challenge!

my take:

Ringed with glazed berries
gouged along the lip,
woven such, its absence
would unravel morning:
the coffee mug.

the membrane behind
which we wake, shields
from night's bright tapestry.
May/3/2013, 4:18 am Link to this post Send Email to queenfisher   Send PM to queenfisher Blog
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: Tapeta Lucida


hi queenfisher,

Thanks for your thoughts and efforts on this.
Re: the re-write,

"woven such, its absence
would unravel the morning"

treats the mug as a woven thing as opposed to a thing woven in. It's only the fact that the mug is woven in that causes the unraveling. Otherwise, an interesting re-write; thank you,

Chris
May/3/2013, 9:12 am Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
Zakzzz5 Profile
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Re: Tapeta Lucida


Christine,

It took me a while to make sense of this poem. I had my own questions, and Bernie's questions helped too. Here: "The tapetum lucidum (Latin: "bright tapestry", plural tapeta lucida is a layer of tissue in the eye of many vertebrate animals. It lies immediately behind the retina."

As I understand it, the coffee mugged has a lip of glazed berries which has a little break. However, the perfection of that break is such that if it were missing, it would break the mesmerizing experience of picking up "that" particular mug full of coffee in the morning. The unraveling of the membrane would be too abrupt and the gradual transition from the night's bright dream (or nightmare) tapestry to a normal morning would be unsettling.

My interpretation might be off here and there, but for me it works. If I'm way off, well, at least you were able to convey something that worked for me. It might lead another reader down a different highway.

It's possible some tweaks could be make to clarify it. Not sure of how necessary this is. It's a challenging poem. Thanks for posting. Zak


quote:

Christine98 wrote:

The coffee mug, ringed
with glazed berries, gouged
along the lip but woven in
such that its absence
would unravel the morning

the membrane behind which
we wake, shielded from
night's bright tapestry.



May/3/2013, 6:35 pm Link to this post Send Email to Zakzzz5   Send PM to Zakzzz5
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: Tapeta Lucida


hey zak,

Thank you for your take on this poem, it's very close to my intention. RE: the chip on the lip of the mug--it's a flaw which would justify throwing the mug away--but that would unravel the ol' morning routine. Your interpretation works just as well.

Again, thank you for spending time with this poem; your response is much appreciated.

Chris
May/3/2013, 7:46 pm Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: Tapeta Lucida


As noted, the poem is a challenge. The upthread discussion has helped me. But even before the questions and clarifications I was taken up by the second strophe simply on its own poetry.

Tere
May/5/2013, 2:14 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: Tapeta Lucida


Hi Chris,

My first reaction to your poem was a strictly personal one. I have a dark blue, almost navy mug, with light gray images and lettering that I got several years ago on vacation. I love that mug. It keeps my tea hot longer than most other mugs and is just the right size and shape. Call me Goldilocks. The coffee mug whose "absence/ would unravel morning" reminded me of it. So, that was my first reaction. Then I looked up "tapeta lucida" and had a little aha! moment. I realized the poem is saying something deeper than I had first anticipated about human beings and nature and civilization. Oh, and coffee. If I am reading this correctly. The idea that a membrane can be a shield is a powerful (right) hook. BWT, it was also fun to learn something new about something that has always made me wonder: why are animals eyes shiny at night in camera or flash-light?
May/7/2013, 9:48 am Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: Tapeta Lucida


hi Tere and Kat,

Thank you for your reads and comments,

Chris
May/7/2013, 11:03 am Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 


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