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Zakzzz5 Profile
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Marrying Ernest Hemingway


Marrying Ernest Hemingway

She’s taken the dog
Up the hill I watch
Her drag the dog not
Doing it the way I taught
Her it’s the tip of the iceberg

She says I’m indecisive
I say I’m not a Captain
Of Industry I’m a writer
Well, why aren’t you like
Ernest Hemingway?
Well, I say, Why don’t you
Marry Ernest Hemingway?
He was decisive but would
Take your money and leave
You for another woman

It’s all good
We’re walking side by side
Now up the lane with the dogs
A bright shaft of light illuminates
The rust colored leaves
But two big crows caw caw
Bringing the beauty down
To earth.
Jun/25/2013, 4:47 am Link to this post Send Email to Zakzzz5   Send PM to Zakzzz5
 
Bernie01 Profile
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Re: Marrying Ernest Hemingway


Z---

one dog? or plural.

at any rate, the use of dog three times. do you really want that? it became a mild distraction to me.

i like the chummy nature of the relationship. the poem supports that view very well. the couple trudging on, side by side, arguing, negotiating, sharing---but permanently bonded together.

just for additional perspective---



a talking blues....


Bukowski:

“you’d think I never paid the rent;
you’d think they’d allow a man to drink
and sit with a woman and watch the sun
come up.
I uncap the new bottle
from the bag and she sits in the corner
smoking and coughing
like an old Aunt from New Jersey.”

================================


“that night I couldn’t destroy her
although the springs shot sparks
and they pounded on the walls.
later she sat there in her slip
drinking Old Grandad
and she said
what’s a guy like you doing
living in a dump like this?
and I said
I’m a poet
And she threw back her beautiful head and laughed.
you? you . . . a poet?
I guess you’re right, I said. I guess you’re right.”


============================

And maybe his best poem --- The Tragedy of the Leaves---that begins:

quote:

“I awakened to dryness and the ferns were dead,
The potted plants yellow as corn;
my woman was gone
and the empty bottles like bled corpses
surrounded me with their uselessness . . .”





bernie

Last edited by Bernie01, Jun/25/2013, 1:37 pm


---
Fall

Bob Grenier: the leaves / falling / out of the / water by the / table
Jun/25/2013, 1:21 pm Link to this post Send Email to Bernie01   Send PM to Bernie01 Blog
 
Zakzzz5 Profile
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Re: Marrying Ernest Hemingway


Bernie01 wrote:

Z---

one dog? or plural. [In the first stanza, the protagonist is watching the wife walk up the hill with her dog. In the third stanza, he's walking beside her with his own dog. There's actually a third dog but he's not in this poem. (;]

at any rate, the use of dog three times. do you really want that? it became a mild distraction to me. [It's unfortunate it's a distraction. I posted this elsewhere and no one complained about that. In the past I've heard this thing, sometimes coming across as a sacred cow, against repeating a word in a poem. However, having researched this in both poetry and prose, I've found some really very good poems that do it. This is not to say that I'm that level with these greats. Just that they do it too.]

i like the chummy nature of the relationship. the poem supports that view very well. the couple trudging on, side by side, arguing, negotiating, sharing---but permanently bonded together.

just for additional perspective---

a talking blues....

[Thanks much for your kind comments. And thanks for the poems below. You provide insights. At times what these people are trying to do in their particular poems is very different from what I'm doing in that particular time, but it's still good to look at other poetry. Sometimes the edges do rub against each other. Zak]


Bukowski:

“you’d think I never paid the rent;
you’d think they’d allow a man to drink
and sit with a woman and watch the sun
come up.
I uncap the new bottle
from the bag and she sits in the corner
smoking and coughing
like an old Aunt from New Jersey.”

================================


“that night I couldn’t destroy her
although the springs shot sparks
and they pounded on the walls.
later she sat there in her slip
drinking Old Grandad
and she said
what’s a guy like you doing
living in a dump like this?
and I said
I’m a poet
And she threw back her beautiful head and laughed.
you? you . . . a poet?
I guess you’re right, I said. I guess you’re right.”


============================

And maybe his best poem --- The Tragedy of the Leaves---that begins:

quote:

“I awakened to dryness and the ferns were dead,
The potted plants yellow as corn;
my woman was gone
and the empty bottles like bled corpses
surrounded me with their uselessness . . .”





bernie

Jun/26/2013, 9:54 am Link to this post Send Email to Zakzzz5   Send PM to Zakzzz5
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: Marrying Ernest Hemingway


Hey Zak,

I'm a sucker for a good relationship poem, which I think this is. It's honest, funny, and down-to-earth, as the last line of the poem indicates. The relationship and the poem itself have an understated beauty (esp. in S3). I even like the use of "It's all good," which some might object to as a cliche, but it works here, comes across as conversational as well as reassuring. I like the light touch you use in this poem to convey something complicated about personal interactions: the need for balance and perspective, tolerance and, when necessary, a little teasing. One of my favorite Zak poems. emoticon
Jun/27/2013, 10:05 am Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: Marrying Ernest Hemingway


hi Zak,

I wasn't distracted by the repetition of "dog" and didn't find myself questioning the singular/plural use of the word.

I admire the way this poem captures the essence
of the relationship so directly: "not/Doing it the way I taught/Her it's the tip of the iceberg" Those lines hooked me and the poem didn't disappoint. The crows are perfect.

Chris
 
Jun/27/2013, 11:44 am Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
Zakzzz5 Profile
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Re: Marrying Ernest Hemingway


Thank you, Katlin. Zak

quote:

Katlin wrote:

Hey Zak,

I'm a sucker for a good relationship poem, which I think this is. It's honest, funny, and down-to-earth, as the last line of the poem indicates. The relationship and the poem itself have an understated beauty (esp. in S3). I even like the use of "It's all good," which some might object to as a cliche, but it works here, comes across as conversational as well as reassuring. I like the light touch you use in this poem to convey something complicated about personal interactions: the need for balance and perspective, tolerance and, when necessary, a little teasing. One of my favorite Zak poems. emoticon



Jul/1/2013, 6:17 pm Link to this post Send Email to Zakzzz5   Send PM to Zakzzz5
 
Zakzzz5 Profile
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Re: Marrying Ernest Hemingway


Christine,

I'm glad the crows worked for you. I didn't want it to end up too idealistic. Thanks, Zak

quote:

Christine98 wrote:

hi Zak,

I wasn't distracted by the repetition of "dog" and didn't find myself questioning the singular/plural use of the word.

I admire the way this poem captures the essence
of the relationship so directly: "not/Doing it the way I taught/Her it's the tip of the iceberg" Those lines hooked me and the poem didn't disappoint. The crows are perfect.

Chris
 



Jul/1/2013, 6:18 pm Link to this post Send Email to Zakzzz5   Send PM to Zakzzz5
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: Marrying Ernest Hemingway


Good poem. Small, wry, a vignette. Kat calls it a relationship poem. I can see that. This is the kind of trope you are strong with. These slice-of-life moments. And about those crows. I heed them too in the same way the poem, I think, looks to them. A signal of something below the surface of things, which is what the poem points to anyway. Something below the banter and repartee. "It's all good" rather reads like a wishful thought in this sense.

Tere
Jul/3/2013, 6:40 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
queenfisher Profile
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Re: Marrying Ernest Hemingway


i'm also very intrigued - the relationship between the two! they don't seem like an old married couple & even if they are - the relationship comes across as well & alive & fresh! the little conversation they have in the second stanza points to that.

so i'm taking : it's all good at face value!

again a sense of mystery
the ending:

A bright shaft of light illuminates
The rust colored leaves
But two big crows caw caw
Bringing the beauty down
To earth.

now is that a good thing or bad?

Jul/4/2013, 2:30 am Link to this post Send Email to queenfisher   Send PM to queenfisher Blog
 


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