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arkava Profile
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"you and every second person"


Sorry for taking this down, guys. Wanted to submit this (in all humility) to a contest.

Looking back on the title, between you and every second person there is only the beginning and ending of a storm. I doubt that's where i was coming from, but it's funny how you feel compelled to answer your own questions when you look back on your life, no matter how brutally. A brutal life. Ok I have to stop myself from running on.

Last edited by arkava, Jan/20/2015, 12:07 am
Aug/31/2013, 6:27 am Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: "you and every second person"


Hi arka,

I googled al-suhrawardi and learned he was a Muslim mystic, lived in Syria and was killed for his ideas and teachings...which I also read about but would take much more study than I engaged in. Sometimes it strikes me that half the world has been hidden from me like the dark side of the moon...

I wonder if the lines in quotation marks are attributed to al-suhrawdi--I know you use quotes for other reasons sometimes...

I also wonder about the specific numbers: "every second person...three dreams in a row"

None of these things make or break my appreciation of the poem. There's something plain and appealing about the line, "even before things get their names back," would it be too fancy to say, "even before things recover their names," ? I like the idea of names covering the things...

Last two lines are terrific:

"a sky made of
three dreams in a row"

Thanks for this, arka,

Chris

Last edited by Christine98, Sep/1/2013, 8:40 am
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arkava Profile
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Re: "you and every second person"


chris, delighted to find a comment from you today. i read up on suhrawardi a year back. can't say it stayed w/ me but you know how it is w/ these things. some part of it did. and a few lines which i couldn't use anywhere. it's his quote. and his the vehicle. in the quote he talks about some sort of remainder and in fact he tackles the flying man problem at one pt as well. (i have forgotten how he did that exactly . emoticon ) but he did. here i was concentrating on his take that every body is not just the body but also light in whatever platonic way he conceived it) ah the second person. i confess i was thinking "you" as the second person but nothing definite.

thanks for the vote on the last two lines too. i needed it. emoticon

Last edited by arkava, Sep/2/2013, 9:58 am
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libramoon Profile
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Re: "you and every second person"


highly contemplative
a dream that lingers, abreacts thought,
splinters into triptych sky
the you that dreams
the universal eye dreaming
the awakened
Sep/2/2013, 2:46 pm Link to this post Send Email to libramoon   Send PM to libramoon Blog
 
queenfisher Profile
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very mystic!

i don't think i've really managed to grasp the meaning but i like the elusive quality.

Sep/3/2013, 3:27 am Link to this post Send Email to queenfisher   Send PM to queenfisher Blog
 
arkava Profile
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ok chris. now i have got it. the "second person" i used w/o much thinking. it's there in suhrwardi's stuff. he talks about the greater self "in the second person." i am not sure i was bargaining for something so loaded w/ mystical apprehensions but it ca be pulled this way or that i guess.

libra and queenie,

thanks for looking in friends :-)) yeah. mystic it is. i am trying to play it down but that's the thing here.

yrs
arka
Sep/5/2013, 8:59 pm Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 
Christine98 Profile
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Oh. Yes. Thanks, arka.

Chris
Sep/6/2013, 11:00 am Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: "you and every second person"


hi arka,

The first thing I notice about this poem is the way the line breaks allow for different readings. The first two stanzas can be read in an number of ways, depending on the type of pause one imagines the line breaks to indicate. Is that line break a comma, a semicolon, a period, a natural reading pause or a pause for emphasis? This uncertainty will drive some readers crazy, no doubt, but other readers will enjoy considering the various possible nuances, without having to definitely side with any one of them. Count me in the latter category. I tend to enjoy the technique in general, but in a poem that references a Sufi mystic, I find it especially well employed. Not that I knew al-Suhrawardi was a Sufi mystic until I googled him, which means I'm not familiar with his ideas, not familiar with his notion of the second person or the material quoted. The poem, however, makes me want to learn more.

Reading the poem in light of your comment to Chris (about the second person being "the greater self") gives S3 a much more profound meaning than I had first anticipated. The casual introduction "after a while" leads to an aha! moment. Although I can't say what it "means," I also like the last stanza with its trinity of dreams.
Sep/19/2013, 11:06 am Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
arkava Profile
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Re: "you and every second person"


quote:

Katlin wrote:

hi arka,

The first thing I notice about this poem is the way the line breaks allow for different readings. The first two stanzas can be read in an number of ways, depending on the type of pause one imagines the line breaks to indicate. Is that line break a comma, a semicolon, a period, a natural reading pause or a pause for emphasis? This uncertainty will drive some readers crazy, no doubt, but other readers will enjoy considering the various possible nuances, without having to definitely side with any one of them. Count me in the latter category. I tend to enjoy the technique in general, but in a poem that references a Sufi mystic, I find it especially well employed.



exactly kat. it's not the codework thing at all. trying to use all the possibilities of that line. private space for the writer and the reader. what call miles davis via ed pavlic calls "the shared privacy of [instrumental music]" you know my added anxieties about the indian thing and the true-to-experience and the true-to-culture thing. that is to say, my struggle to set aside these reservations and talk about intense private moments/ grief/ loss/ private epiphanies. i was (am) struggling w/ getting the right balance. till a few months back, it was tortuous language but now i am trying to simplify as far as possible. make it as close to a natural feeling as possible. getting married helped. i suddenly found i wanted my poems to be more conversational. not to talk to my wife but more like quiet conversations where i can say things w/o reservations but always being true to some sort of experience. i don't have illusions that i am writing anything new or particularly good, but at the same time truer to my thoughts and somehow forcing me to think in certain moments.


quote:

Not that I knew al-Suhrawardi was a Sufi mystic until I googled him, which means I'm not familiar with his ideas, not familiar with his notion of the second person or the material quoted. The poem, however, makes me want to learn more.

Reading the poem in light of your comment to Chris (about the second person being "the greater self") gives S3 a much more profound meaning than I had first anticipated. The casual introduction "after a while" leads to an aha! moment. Although I can't say what it "means," I also like the last stanza with its trinity of dreams.



as i was telling chris, suhrawardi has been there in my mind and in my notes for some time now. i read a page or two then lose the rhythm but try to think back to a room i spent some days in while in the hills. that sort of thing helps. and some sort of dependence on hypnopompic phrases. earlier i would have stopped there. but now it's more lyrical hopefully.

yrs
arka
Sep/20/2013, 11:58 am Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 
carolinex Profile
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I really like how you describe that moment of waking up and how confusing it can be.

The last stanza is not connected but I take it as a sort of memory of the dreams that we can have right after we wake.
It could also be a dream of three skys or three dreams of one sky? emoticon
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arkava Profile
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hey, thanks caroline! loved your interps. i am also not very savvy re the last stanza. as long as it's a fit w/ the rest. the second person etc. the imagery of course is open-ended.

arka
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Terreson Profile
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Arka, something I notice in much of your poetry is how you keep looking to get past the word, get behind it or underneath it, to the thing of experience itself. Somewhere I've said the naming of things let's us believe we know the things. But poetry looks to get behind the name, to the thing. I think that is a true statement about poetry. That seems to be a main motivation for you.

Tere
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