Runboard.com
You're welcome.
Community logo






runboard.com       Sign up (learn about it) | Sign in (lost password?)

 
libramoon Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info



Reply | Quote
September’s Child


September’s Child
 
 
And the young monk
on the hillside thrice gave
weight to his staff against
greenhold ground found this day
along his sacred quest.
In answer, the land opened,
revealed a winding descending stairway.
The monk feeling bidden, followed down.
Below he became aware he had entered
cavernous chamber lit by broad torches.
An array of ancient armament displayed
upon a large wooden table, its edges
intricately carved.
Exquisitely poignant music, angelic pure
voices unsullied by words emerged from
vibrating air.
“Welcome, child. You are expected.
Nourishment will arrive soon.
Knowledge will take longer.
Think on your questions.”
An old wrinkled presence, kind without sign
of emotion, spoke and settled into
luxurious green tapestry now clearly carpeting
the room.
The monk had embarked on his journey without
expectations.
That was one of the rules.
He eagerly followed each of seeming reasonless
instructions, on and on.
Now he had reached a place of contemplation,
a different kind of challenge.
He considered his questions in short mental movies.
Brought to him food exactly suited to invigorate,
water like clarity washing through him.
His mind paints the walls, animate characters flicker
in shadows. These converse with the monk, and each
other. Merry questions cavort as shapes, colors,
directions. When the monk awakes, he is walking
a familiar trail. The teller of his tale has decreed
it leads to a sacred hillside.
He hums to his steps, rehearsing his questions.
Their answers reside in his trusty backpack.
He has collected and carried these shiny pebbles
with intention to fabricate a magnificent rock collage
when the appropriate backdrop appears.
How lucky to be a monk in a time of such
abundance.
Sep/2/2013, 2:40 pm Link to this post Send Email to libramoon   Send PM to libramoon Blog
 
queenfisher Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info



Reply | Quote
Re: September’s Child


dear libra

a mystical story unfolds - a great atmosphere created with details.

Nourishment will arrive soon.
Knowledge will take longer.

great lines!

enjoyed the mystic dreamlike quality - to me it denotes a search - a search of self perhaps!
Sep/3/2013, 3:36 am Link to this post Send Email to queenfisher   Send PM to queenfisher Blog
 
Christine98 Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info



Reply | Quote
Re: September’s Child


hi queen,

This makes me feel like a I did when I was a kid, reading a good story with wonderful pictures to look at...yeah, it reads like a picture book,

Chris
Sep/4/2013, 8:48 am Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
libramoon Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info



Reply | Quote
Re: September’s Child


Thanks for liking my little story, Queen and Chris.
Sep/4/2013, 1:46 pm Link to this post Send Email to libramoon   Send PM to libramoon Blog
 
arkava Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info



Reply | Quote
Re: September’s Child


libra, hey.

“He considered his questions in short mental movies.
Brought to him food exactly suited to invigorate, “

the poem seems to be part mystical experience and part commentary on the nature of mystical experience. if corbin wrote poetry maybe he would have strived to come up w/ sthng like this. there are all the usual images. the tradition. the monk is kind w/o emotion. the entire sequence of a journey underground and the hero’s journey back up. but then there’s this meta thing to it. these are short mental movies, aids in meditation, like the pebbles the monk carries. the monk also reminds me of the Fool from the major arcana. tht wd possibly make the older monk the magician? an intriguing read.
Sep/5/2013, 8:50 pm Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 
libramoon Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info



Reply | Quote
Re: September’s Child


Hey arkava,
Thanks for the analysis. It started as a mental movie of my own.
Sep/6/2013, 1:49 pm Link to this post Send Email to libramoon   Send PM to libramoon Blog
 
Zakzzz5 Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info



Reply | Quote
Re: September’s Child


Libramoon,

This is a very good poem. Completely liked it. Loved the roll of the language. Loved the experience. Only one suggestion, and I'm not sure it's a good suggestion. Zak

September’s Child
  
  
And the young monk
on the hillside thrice gave
weight to his staff against
greenhold ground found this day
along his sacred quest.
In answer, the land opened,
revealed a winding descending stairway.
The monk feeling bidden, followed down.
Below he became aware he had entered [Consider deleting "Below." Understood it is below; also it rolls better.]
cavernous chamber lit by broad torches.
An array of ancient armament displayed
upon a large wooden table, its edges
intricately carved.
Exquisitely poignant music, angelic pure
voices unsullied by words emerged from
vibrating air.
“Welcome, child. You are expected.
Nourishment will arrive soon.
Knowledge will take longer.
Think on your questions.”
An old wrinkled presence, kind without sign
of emotion, spoke and settled into
luxurious green tapestry now clearly carpeting
the room.
The monk had embarked on his journey without
expectations.
That was one of the rules.
He eagerly followed each of seeming reasonless
instructions, on and on.
Now he had reached a place of contemplation,
a different kind of challenge.
He considered his questions in short mental movies.
Brought to him food exactly suited to invigorate,
water like clarity washing through him.
His mind paints the walls, animate characters flicker
in shadows. These converse with the monk, and each
other. Merry questions cavort as shapes, colors,
directions. When the monk awakes, he is walking
a familiar trail. The teller of his tale has decreed
it leads to a sacred hillside.
He hums to his steps, rehearsing his questions.
Their answers reside in his trusty backpack.
He has collected and carried these shiny pebbles
with intention to fabricate a magnificent rock collage
when the appropriate backdrop appears.
How lucky to be a monk in a time of such
abundance.


Last edited by Zakzzz5, Sep/12/2013, 4:53 pm
Sep/12/2013, 4:51 pm Link to this post Send Email to Zakzzz5   Send PM to Zakzzz5
 
libramoon Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info



Reply | Quote
Re: September’s Child


thanks so much for the high praise, zak.
Sep/13/2013, 4:07 pm Link to this post Send Email to libramoon   Send PM to libramoon Blog
 
Katlin Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info



Reply | Quote
Re: September’s Child


Wonderful poem, libra. Part mythology and part mysticism, as others have pointed out. For me there is a strong Celtic/green man vibe to this.

There are a number of lines that made me trust the authenticity of this N:

"Nourishment will arrive soon.
Knowledge will take longer."

"An old wrinkled presence, kind without sign
of emotion, spoke and settled into
luxurious green tapestry now clearly carpeting
the room."

"The monk had embarked on his journey without
expectations."
That was one of the rules.

Good stuff!
Sep/17/2013, 2:46 pm Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
Terreson Profile
Live feed
Blog
Friends
Miscellaneous info



Reply | Quote
Re: September’s Child


You are a natural born story teller, Libra. It is your metier. That you tend to match your inclination to the stuff of myth, and the archetypes underlying, is part of what accentuates your way. This is a good story of questing, the object of which is always renewal. And your poem manages to speak on several different levels, on the natural, the instinctive, and the spiritual. The old Fisher King story tells us all that asking the right question is what unlocks the mysteries and with that comes the rebirth.

I sometimes have difficulty with your word choices. In my view they could be sharper. But they are yours and so I take them at that.

Tere
Sep/21/2013, 3:11 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 


Add a reply





You are not logged in (login)