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arkava Profile
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nocturne


the night walks into me
circles of street-light
i can walk through
without my hands searching the darkness
for something more
or less human
without forgetting how i wish
you were here

Last edited by arkava, Jan/4/2014, 11:10 am
Jan/3/2014, 12:14 pm Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 
libramoon Profile
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Re: nocturne


I adore that line:

"the night walks into me"
Jan/6/2014, 10:45 pm Link to this post Send Email to libramoon   Send PM to libramoon Blog
 
queenfisher Profile
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Re: nocturne


arkava

a fascinating little piece - with great atmosphere!

my two-bit:

the night walks into me
as i walk through circles
of street light without
hands searching the darkness
for something more or less
human without forgetting
how i wish you were here

Jan/8/2014, 2:39 am Link to this post Send Email to queenfisher   Send PM to queenfisher Blog
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: nocturne


Hi arka,

You must know by now how much I enjoy reading your love poems, and this one is no exception. The poem reads very naturally to me, and I love these line breaks:

without my hands searching the darkness
for something more
or less human

This is a quiet, humble piece that feels both authentic and artful in an understated way.
Jan/8/2014, 10:11 am Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
arkava Profile
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Re: nocturne


Thanks guys emoticon

Libra, that line was the seeding thought for the poem. At one pt that was all there was. You liked the rt thing. emoticon Thank you so much for reading.

Queen, thanks very much for the look at this. I do want to hold onto the line breaks for now, especially the one at "more." Also the "less human" thing on its own. But i will try to incorporate some of the suggestions. Thanks again. emoticon

Hey Kat,

I read it as a love poem once I wrote it out. Then, after reading it out to my wife, realized I was also talking to my mother and some other dead people. Freud would have a field day with this. emoticon It's funny the way these things work themselves out of you.
Jan/13/2014, 9:21 pm Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 


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