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libramoon Profile
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devotion


Devotion
 
 
A child with a secret
unaware.
A serious persona
able to pull onward
celestial strings, curious circumstance.
Able to twirl and prance on cue,
to state with a glance,
to unassume.
 
Jestar, demigod disguised as troubadour
wanders Earth to learn human tricks,
linguistics. Sources music as communication.
Someday soon, when runes align with stars and signs,
grim portents,
mask dissolves. Wisdom sings.
Those who listen, respond in apt devotion,
clear resonance,
decrypt sage clues,
engage in sacred quest, accept reward.
Stories harvested over ages,
night to night reveal exaltation.
Filtered gifts of layered sleep.
Receive what is sound to honor.
Longer tales soar and weave.
Keep close touch to melodies that compel
elegance.
 
Where do we learn cruelty?
Indignities impressed in our youth,
imposed as we grow.
Where do we learn beauty?
Purity --
full interplay
conscious engagement
directed vocation
 
Once upon a time in a village of yore,
there had been bequeathed a home
for wayward children
that the streets be clear of filth
when the fine folk made their daily
perambulations.
In the wee hours the wee ones
were expelled to hunt nonhuman
vermin, the occasional mad man.
These became their supper stew
to maintain servile strength.
Children who outgrew set parameters
or acted unruly could too become stew.
Or they could sneak away from the hunt
to wherever their story might be made their own.
Sep/14/2014, 2:41 pm Link to this post Send Email to libramoon   Send PM to libramoon Blog
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: devotion


Always the metaphysical inclination in your poetry, Libra. Or so it seems to me. Here, as in much of your poetry I've read, what works for me is your voice. What doesn't work for me are certain word choices. Persona, perambulations, perameters, words that do not speak to my whole soma, as I think poetry does, at least when at its best. Still I can respond to what you're after.

Tere
Oct/18/2014, 2:18 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
Zakzzz5 Profile
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Re: devotion


Libra,

The initial impact of the poem is this roiling mystery, the sad children looking for vermin. They are to make the streets clean for the inhabitants of the town. There's a horror in what they put in the stew. I had to make some logical jumps to link the Jester to the final stanza. Terreson's pointing out the Latinate words might be something to look at. The latinate words might work in the areas where you are building up a sense of horror. Not sure. How would Poe do it? Food for thought.

It was a good journey going through the poem. Zak
Mar/21/2015, 7:01 am Link to this post Send Email to Zakzzz5   Send PM to Zakzzz5
 
arkava Profile
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Re: devotion


A child with a secret
unaware.
A serious persona
able to pull onward
celestial strings, curious circumstance.
Able to twirl and prance on cue,
to state with a glance,
to unassume.

This starts off a set of paradoxical steps. A child with a secret and then that unaware. Unaware of what. Unaware who. The one who has the secret should be aware of it but here is not. The secret is almost there like a plant inside the child. Its potentiality almost. And the serious persona made em think of how children do have that look of concentration when they are playing alone. Fate here is not something like a telos but what the child is pulling onward. Like a kite. Ready to always unassume, change

Love the humor in “human tricks/linguistics” and “receive what is sound to honor” the entire stanza works off what seems to be an extended poetic take on some of the concepts in linguistics. Grim portents, fairy tales of the signified. The next stanza also shakes things up. A series of questions and received answers, it seems to be an ironic take on psychoanalysis itself, on its notion of the good life. Where everything has a cause and everything is received wisdom.
The last strophe is an anthill. A model of what epistemic hours we keep in daily life. The set parameters and directed ruminations.

The devotion seems to be of children, of us citizens of the world and linguists toward the rubbish heap we make of the world.
 
Lovely
Mar/22/2015, 11:00 am Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 


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