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arkava Profile
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Spinning top III


A room, any room is the size of a wound when you have been there for a while, the encaustic trap from which sprang painters in another age.

Beehives of paint buzz in the wall, many limbs, the soul turned around using muscles that go into rotating say, a table, or a needle. A wave set back into the seascape, a broken wing.

I have gone missing from most of my days. And do not plan to leave here. And why should I? Unless I happen to remember every hour and where I was then.

Last edited by arkava, May/21/2015, 8:31 pm
May/3/2015, 11:23 am Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 
Zakzzz5 Profile
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Re: Burning civilizations


 arkava wrote:

Dream of traveling moisture on sand
a wave hinged at the stick figures on the shore [[[You use the word "wave" near the end where you say "wave and shore" so I gather this is an important word in this poem. Am I right? I gather that the wave has the power of the fist thudding. Not familiar with Suhrawardi, though I Googled. Not sure if this writing is intended to be obscure.]]]
stabbing into them like the fist thudding
at the door to Suhrawardi’s heart, leap
of faith, a pall thrown over a face stripped back
down under the lights, swimming into focus
the floor hard as stone on the back of a hand
a forehead insensible and rusted, lock and key [[[If there is a tangible human involved, he feels the floor with the back of his hand, and his forehead is insensible. But why "rusted" unless the human is also a metal statue. Perhaps a god?]]]
wave and shore— we have traveled and take
pleasure, one dot arranged above another, in a pit[[[I like one dot above another. Very good.]]]
held by the shoreline, taut as a kite.
 
PS-- Just noticed "shore" is also used twice. So wave and shore are critical to the poem. Trying to unlock the relationship and portent if any is intended.
May/4/2015, 6:52 pm Link to this post Send Email to Zakzzz5   Send PM to Zakzzz5
 
arkava Profile
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Re: Burning civilizations


Thank you Zak. Really appreciate your close read. i have recycled the entire poem (and i am afraid it looks nothing like the original) since i liked nothing i saw there now.
May/5/2015, 12:22 pm Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 
crunchtime Profile
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Re: After Ascidians


quote:

arkava wrote:

The challenge is to turn the soul around, using muscles that go into making, say, a table, so that the head travels down the spine and a tail moves in and out of the mouth like a shadow seen from behind the drapery. I am of course talking about the voyeuristic pleasure with which people have always constructed houses. They show little but they see in the darkness like lanterns traveling into a cavern for the first time in history. (Another uninspired thought. A sense of adventure. What was formed at one point in the planet’s history could not have been a secret from the beginning and even the cave system had to retrace some or the other organism’s flickering plan. Like I said, uninspired.)



Metaphysically, more than muscle is needed to turn the soul around.

It requires humility, forfeiting arrogance, the acquisition of wisdom.

Without which, I'm likewise uninspired.

May/6/2015, 3:40 am Link to this post Send Email to crunchtime   Send PM to crunchtime Blog
 
arkava Profile
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Re: Spinning top


Sorry crunchtime, i tried replying to your comments but couldn't make head or tail of them. So i have decided to come clean. What's metaphysics?

Last edited by arkava, May/6/2015, 8:05 am
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crunchtime Profile
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Re: Spinning top


quote:

arkava wrote:

Sorry crunchtime, i tried replying to your comments but couldn't make head or tail of them. So i have decided to come clean. What's metaphysics?



That's an inspired reply Arka emoticon

Crunch

Last edited by crunchtime, May/6/2015, 9:18 am
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arkava Profile
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Re: Spinning top


I am guessing you are a tail from some other forum, Crunch. Well, whatever floats your boat. Expect no more replies to your comments in future. Thanks for your interest.
May/6/2015, 10:37 am Link to this post Send Email to arkava   Send PM to arkava Blog
 
crunchtime Profile
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Re: Spinning top


quote:

arkava wrote:

I am guessing you are a tail from some other forum, Crunch. Well, whatever floats your boat. Expect no more replies to your comments in future. Thanks for your interest.



Hmm. Sorry to disappoint, but you were blinded by the shine of the dollar.

You came up tails with the flip.
May/6/2015, 12:07 pm Link to this post Send Email to crunchtime   Send PM to crunchtime Blog
 
Zakzzz5 Profile
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Re: Spinning top


 arkava wrote:

The challenge is to turn the soul around,[[[I like this first sentence]]]

 using muscles that go into rotating, say, a table, or a pagoda, [[[Not sure which muscles these would be, whether literal muscles or the imagination or will]]]

 so that the head travels down the spine, a fishhook. [[[his could be developed. I get the impression of the thinking powers somehow impacting on the nervous system; otherwise this is beyond me]]]

Dewlap earth, an atmosphere patient as pointillism, as tremors. Clouds the color of eyes come to rest on the mountains. [[[Clouds the color of eyes could be literal as in brown, black or blue; or they could be modes of perception]]]

--- Arka, this is unlike any poem of yours I have read. Not sure why you collapsed it. Zeke

May/13/2015, 3:14 pm Link to this post Send Email to Zakzzz5   Send PM to Zakzzz5
 
arkava Profile
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Re: Spinning top


i am trying very hard to make it work and well nothing seems to be working out. your comment made me realize i lost the entire poem with my revision. tried making some changes. needs time.

Update: revised. Hopefully a ver I won't change further

Last edited by arkava, May/21/2015, 1:43 pm
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