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ChrisD1 Profile
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untitled


Hurry, it goes like a quick
spinning penny, your bit
of pressed copper, your
chip off the sun, as round
in your hollows as sound
in a bell; this is the penny
you pay to the well.
Mar/29/2009, 11:07 am Link to this post Send Email to ChrisD1   Send PM to ChrisD1
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: untitled


Hi Chris,

This piece has your signature Chris style/stamp on it: concise with lovely sounds that are a pleasure to roll on the tongue and pop against the eardrum. Been trying to think of a title to suggest but so far can't think of one.
Mar/31/2009, 1:43 pm Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
ChrisD1 Profile
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Re: untitled


Thanks Kat,

For your post and giving thought to the title,
definitely not my strength, these pesky titles.

Chris
Mar/31/2009, 2:15 pm Link to this post Send Email to ChrisD1   Send PM to ChrisD1
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: untitled


Pesky is right. To me titles are like makeup. Sometimes I'd rather not be bothered, ya know? And, hey, if no titles was good enough for Emily, it's good enough for me. emoticon
Mar/31/2009, 2:29 pm Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: untitled


quote:

ChrisD1 wrote:

Hurry, it goes like a quick
spinning penny, your bit
of pressed copper, your
chip off the sun, as round
in your hollows as sound
in a bell; this is the penny
you pay to the well.



Every time I read it I am liking this poem and finding something new. Word choice, crafted lines, and especially the dance turn like a pas de deux here: as round / in your hollows as sound / in a bell. Damn exquisite, that image. And such attention paid to assonance and open vowel sounds.

Then, of course, there is the message: you gots to pays your money and takes your chances.

I am not an immediate fan of epigrammatic-like poetry. I guess I like my poetry stuff fleshy and a bit messy. But your way is showing me how it can be done to advantage.

Sorry. Ain't got no complaints to offer.

Tere
Mar/31/2009, 7:21 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
ChrisD1 Profile
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Re: untitled


Tere,

Thanks for reading and stretching (or shrinking) to appreciate a form that does not appeal. "fleshy and a bit messy" sounds pretty
good. Maybe I'll aspire to that during this Na
Po party. Do I dare disturb the universe?

Thanks again,

Chris
Mar/31/2009, 7:31 pm Link to this post Send Email to ChrisD1   Send PM to ChrisD1
 
dmehl808 Profile
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Re: untitled


something about this [uh, maybe the subject?]reminds me of john Mayall's "spinning coin"

check for a listen here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/recsradio/radio/B00000051O/ref=pd_krex_listen_dp_img?ie=UTF8&refTagSuffix=dp_img

I like this--it's epigrammatic and it works for me.

One suggestion is to remove penny from the first mention=--just leave us guessing with, "it goes with a quick spinning.." what the thing is.

I enjoyed this.
Apr/4/2009, 10:52 pm Link to this post Send Email to dmehl808   Send PM to dmehl808
 
ChrisD1 Profile
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Re: untitled


Thanks for your comments Dave. I like your suggestion. It's been a few years since I listened to Mayall...that should be fun.

Chris
Apr/5/2009, 8:14 am Link to this post Send Email to ChrisD1   Send PM to ChrisD1
 


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