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dmehl808 Profile
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Buy buy buy bye bye

Buy buy buy bye bye

Drive safe, keep it under a hundred, and always wear your seatbelt

We are not a bloodthirsty people

You can know the beginning but not the end, or know the end but not the middle

Good morning sunshine

I bleed orange

What’s the difference between a guitar player and a large pizza? The large pizza feeds a family of four.

Please curb the truckermouth when you are at home

Slit his throat for 3 dollars now he’s doing life in the pen

I’d rather the wind wouldn’ta blowed so hard all day

Our manager has the personality of a wet fart

There are few more depressing sights than white sails falling about in the green darkness of a tropical night

Yeah, well I’ve got a split personality--run sleeper team with myself--a lifesaver when you’re tired--he takes over and it’s like I’m taking a nap in the bunk. He does get pulled over by the HP more than me, but nobody can back it into a tight spot like he can--you cope anyway you can out here, do what you gotta do to survive, man.

The others need to be shot in the head

They are just using it to feather their own nests

Put it over with the other luau !@#$

My stomach hurts

He say, Where the !@#$ at? Ha ha ha ha

I have a freakin hole! I have a freakin hole!

Two phrases I won’t say anymore: First, it can’t get any worse; second, it can’t get any stupider

It’s better if you consider most bad situations (resulting in loss or injury) arise out of ignorance not meanness

Especially when one is dependent upon co-worker’s cooperation to perform a given task

It isn’t always light and blindness--sometimes it’s simply the love of a good woman

Slow down

Stop running stop crying are you hurt? No!

Man, I think those women in Spanaway have penises!

You know I mean I don’t like mean to scream on you or nothin but…

Winter is war, she said

We don’t need no more trouble, no more trouble, troubles we don’t need

You should always pay careful attention to what other people say--someday it might save your life

You know how I knew you were tired? Lane control is always the first to go

Whoa buddy, whoa

Hey tanker, I don’t want to be a party to your fireball!

Is there anybody up there, anybody up there who does something because it’s right, not just expedient?

John the revelator, that’s what she call me, John the Revelator, heh

We’re hitting bottom--anybody can find work at the bottom

I go home and my dog’s waiting for me--that’s about it--and she demands my attention!

At some point I started paying attention to the songs I wrote, once I realized people were actually listening

You remind me of one of those mallard ducks you see in the ponds along the interstate running next to the Columbia--little orange feet paddling feverishly, butt in the air, head below the surface, straining for water weed that’s too deep

The ocean makes me a ruthlessly practical machine of self-repression. On the ocean I can simply blank out whole categories of feelings because they contribute nothing to the ongoing voyage. I’m a survivor. I travel light.

What did they do--gather all the stupid people into Washington, then call them our leaders?

Out here you must be careful--had you gone to him--he would have cut off your head

Survival will require great diplomacy

Some livin big, while most are livin small--some don't even have no food at all--Stop that train, I'm leavin (I mean stop it) I don't care what you say
Apr/5/2009, 1:29 pm Link to this post Send Email to dmehl808   Send PM to dmehl808
Katlin Profile
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Re: Buy buy buy bye bye

Hi Dave,

Wow. Or maybe I should say phew! This poem is something else. I love the way you have put this together--all the layers, twists and turns, many surprises, different voices inside the voice/s calling out, clashing and crescendoing.

This poem is fun: good fun, serious fun and deadly fun/ny. Poet, philopsher, comedian, hardcore realist, trucker, survivor-- all rolled into one. Kinda like T. S. Eliot if he had gotten out from behind the desk, removed his tie and taken speed. Not so much "Do I dare disturb the universe?" as "What the hell?!? The universe disturbs me."

And somehow it works. In large part, I think, because of the tensions built through the juxtapositions, especially between the fresh and the familiar, between the wide-ranging, sometimes raging, emotions and the clearheaded, clear-eyed, clear-eared reporting. This isn't a poem; it's an experience.

Is this a useful critique? Ya got me. emoticon

Last edited by Katlin, Apr/8/2009, 2:37 pm
Apr/8/2009, 2:26 pm Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
dmehl808 Profile
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Re: Buy buy buy bye bye

Thanks Katlin for reading and offering a response. Saying a poem is an experience is probably the highest form of praise anyone could offer--thanks emoticon The question in my mind at this point is whether the poem needs more narrative drive or more cohesion--is it too raw and unrefined--or is that a strength? in any case thanks for the kind words and the thoughtful response.
Apr/9/2009, 9:57 am Link to this post Send Email to dmehl808   Send PM to dmehl808
Terreson Profile
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Re: Buy buy buy bye bye

Good stuff, Daveman. Katfriend has already pointed out what I notice, or how the poem is built on the tensions of the juxtapositions it draws the reader into.

Your question is a good one. At this point does the poem need more narrative drive or more cohesion. Not sure what the right answer is. I am sure I would hate to see its drive sacrificed for the sake of cohesion. What to leave in and what to take out is always the perrennial problem. It occurs to me that on this particular point Ginsberg's Howl poem might give you a lead.

Another of the poem's strengths is that it is clearly, and lyrically, spoken through a trucker's voice. This is the poem's ground wire, so to speak. I am thinking too that in the mix of voices there is the radio's. Late night talk shows, often a bit rabid like, and such. I might be inclined to make the radio's presence more defined, more certain. Something along the line of: 'and there goes the radioman again. Damn him anyway. He's in my ear again and now in my head.' Just a suggestion.

A possible weakness of the poem's is its relative lack of definite images. Both the tanker truck encounter and the mallards described rather underscore my point by how effective both evokations strike me as being. What, for example, of all a trucker sees along the highway that makes him wish he is somewhere else? Like the billboards maybe. Just a thought.

Apr/9/2009, 6:33 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson

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