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dmanister Profile
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Dearly Belateds REVISED


Dearly Belateds

A house fallen but not gone: papered
walls, a cold stove: bodiless occupants

singing, sighing, whole melancholias
of old times audible in the void.

Books used in years gone by:
erasing's traces at the sides,

on the bottom where footnotes go,
even between the lines:

thoughts given and withdrawn:
evaporating water.

Fresh impressions in a bed: torsos,
legs, heads, bodiless but not gone,

present as absences ever get, resonants,
making their tardy departures.

Shells on the shore filled with the missing,
More than mere memory, evidence.

A shirt on the laundry line swelling with
wind, changing the shape of emptiness.


.


Last edited by dmanister, Jul/26/2009, 8:17 am
Jun/10/2009, 11:03 am Link to this post Send Email to dmanister   Send PM to dmanister
 
deepwaters Profile
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Re: Dearly Belateds REVISED


Diana -

I don't quite "get" the poem - most likely my shortcoming. I like the way you paint the images, but I cannot tell what the poet is after. It might be that the title is supposed to convey more than I understand. here are some specific thoughts:



A house fallen but not gone: papered
walls, a cold stove: bodiless occupants
I read this as a house that is left empty for a long while, maybe abandoned. 'bodiless occupants' tripped me there for a minute.

singing, sighing, whole melancholias
of old times audible in the void.
I like this very much. It is almost like a scene in a movie because it says so much with so little.

Books used in years gone by:
erasing's traces at the sides,

on the bottom where footnotes go,
even between the lines:

thoughts given and withdrawn:
evaporating water.
I like the last two lines the best in the description of the books. I am uncertain as to why the books take so much of the poem. Is the idea that books are so important, therefore, deserve this attention? Or is this a choice that says something about the poem and the story?

Fresh impressions in a bed: torsos,
legs, heads, bodiless but not gone,

present as absences ever get, resonants,
making their tardy departures.

Shells on the shore filled with the missing,
More than mere memory, evidence.
I am not sure where the shells come from. Are you saying that the beds with the impressions of the body are like shells that are filled with the missing?

A shirt on the laundry line swelling with
wind, changing the shape of emptiness.
Again, I really like this last sentence. But, I don't know what it says in the bigger picture of the poem as a whole.

I don't know how helpful all my confused thoughts can be. Just my two cents anyway. Thanks for posting.
-shab
Jul/29/2009, 12:41 pm Link to this post Send Email to deepwaters   Send PM to deepwaters
 
dmanister Profile
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Re: Dearly Belateds REVISED


Dear shab,

Many thanks for your thoughful and sensitive responses.

You will not get the poem if you look for a story. There is none.

However. The shells and the impressions in the bed are the same as the books and every other absence which makes its presence known in the poem.

Again, thanks! Your comments are very helpful. I hadn't realized, for example, that the books were so prominent.

Best,

Diana

.
Jul/29/2009, 12:46 pm Link to this post Send Email to dmanister   Send PM to dmanister
 
deepwaters Profile
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Re: Dearly Belateds REVISED


Diana -

Just a small clarification. It is not so much that I look for a story in a poem, but I want to know what the poet wants and/or needs to say. So, perhaps my use of the word "story" was ill-fitted.

If I were forced (or bribed) to tell what I thought the poem was about, I would say a sense of loss, the strong presence of an absence. However, the title and the ending make me unsure of that. Also, I couldn't quite follow the punctuation.

I hope some of my rambling in here is helpful.
-s
Jul/29/2009, 11:25 pm Link to this post Send Email to deepwaters   Send PM to deepwaters
 
ChrisD1 Profile
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Re: Dearly Belateds REVISED


hi Diana,

Here's where the poem resides (imo, of course):

Fresh impressions in a bed: torsos,
legs, heads, bodiless but not gone,

Shells on the shore, filled with the missing,
More than mere memory, evidence.

A shirt on the laundery line, swelling with
wind, changing the shape of emptiness.

The first line of each couplet an arresting,
palpable image followed by a second line, suggesting an interpretation, meaning or context for the image. A completely successful mix of show and tell. Also very beautiful and evocative. I'm not so taken with the rest.

Cheers,

Chris
Jul/31/2009, 11:31 am Link to this post Send Email to ChrisD1   Send PM to ChrisD1
 


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