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pjouissance Profile
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this is what I heard when I tuned in


Birth control is not the solution to all our problems. NAFTA, which profited US corps, did not bankrupt rural Mexicans, leading to an invasion of Arizona. Corporations are correctly treated legally as human beings with all rights of citizens. Schwarzenegger could have done something. Methadone is a good treatment for a heroin habit and is not abused.

this is what I heard when I tuned in

The Tamil Tigers were not worth support; the red shirts in Thailand aren't supporting their elected official against a military regime. The three US "hikers" in Iran didn't know what they were doing. Foot-binding days are long over, we don't cripple women, six-inch heels are not a sign that we are so rich we don’t need to walk anywhere. Young women are not pressured to sexually exhibit their bodies from a very young age. What constitutes feminine beauty in the media is not impossible even for six-foot, hyperthin teenagers to achieve. Breast implants are needed because natural breasts are too small and not round enough. Pornography will always be around and is harmless anyway.

what I heard, oh yeah, when I tuned in

Whichever multimillionaire pours the most money into an electoral campaign should win it. Pension funds are not losing billions of dollars of workers' life savings by continuing to gamble in the stock market. Workers should not hoard money; the economy won't grow unless they spend all their money, and the economy must grow and grow and always grow. Worker-consumers should purchase each new gizmo as it is necessary to their happiness. Workers should be grateful to be able to borrow enough to buy anything they want. Money paid in by workers for their social security was properly drained by the general fund and the age of eligibility should be raised, because there's no money. All homes need mortgages. You get a tax break, and a thirty-year mortgage with interest does not make you pay ten times as much as the purchase price to a bank not the previous owner. A mortgage with a bank holding title is not equivalent to being a renter.

Medicine is not an art but a science. Most mental illness can be successfully controlled. Antidepressants work better than diet and exercise. Ibuprofen does not cause almost as many heart attacks as the recalled Celebrex; sales of ibuprofen are too big to recall it. Doctors know the etiology of most illnesses. Every disorder has a treatment. Neurontin is not prescribed for many off-label disorders due to sales pressure from the company that owns it. Steroids do not cause frightful side effects and should be used whenever any non-infectious condition arises.

Lawyers consider morality while practicing law. Contingency fees are fair exchanges for lawyers having to front expenses for excellent cases. Lawyers are not committing anti-trust violations in charging the same contingency fee percentages across the country, and lawyers who take a case for less should be censured. Lawyers who have been disbarred are disbarred and can not apply for reinstatement after two years. There are no accidents.

Most professional examinations such as the land surveyor exam and the examination for veterinary candidates are not specifically designed to keep too many competitors from being licensed.

Cosmology is not in complete disarray. Physics is not in thrall to suspect math equations. String theory has made progress over the past twenty years and must be true because otherwise the math wouldn't fit. Dark matter and dark energy exist. Black holes are proven astronomical objects. Quantum theory is untouchable. The Large Hadron Collider will find the Higgs Boson any time now.

what I heard, what I heard when I tuned in

The Catholic Church needed the full 500 years to decide to give Copernicus a Christian burial. Burqas are merely religious symbols. Buddhists do not believe in a deity. Evolution is not proven. The Catholic Church does not insist that a woman die rather than abort her fetus.

Appellate courts do not almost always uphold the side of the party with greater power. We can keep control of deliberately-mutated dna for more than two hours. The Colorado River is not reduced to a trickle on formerly important tributaries. Los Angeles is not a desert.

We are not going to die, and we won't make a will, that would be bad luck. Dying people should be eviscerated and intubated because even a life of misery is better than losing it. Thinking of human excretion is so disgusting that we won't allow public toilets in this town. Global warming caused by humans will destroy the world and very soon.

The US did not attack Iraq and Afghanistan because US rulers were enraged at Bin Laden's escape. The US is just trying to find bin Laden, or help the girls go to school, and will leave soon because another army in human history has beaten the Afghanis when the tribes unite. Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq will not soon become Sharia states due to U.S. attacks on civilians using drone aircraft.

The U.S. is not the world's biggest arms dealer, including land mines. The U.S. does not torture people, deny its own citizens due process of law, or wiretap its citizens without a warrant, nor does it publically announce plans to assassinate foreign nationals. George Bush did not commit war crimes in attacking Iraq on a pretext. Over a million Iraqi civilians have not been killed as a result. Human life isn't cheap in a warrior culture like the US.

this is what I heard when I tuned in

Jerusalem can't be split and therefore no peace agreement is possible, although people in West Jerusalem right now never have anything to do with people from East Jerusalem. The city is not already segregated. Hamas is not an elected government; Israel did not ignore the 2008 accords; the Gazans are getting everything they need after shipment inspections by Israel. Concrete should not be allowed in because the fear of tunnels being built is more important than people having shelter.

Each of us must never be inaccessible. Other humans should be allowed to engage our attention at their convenience. Kids should go to preschool. Kids should have hours of homework every night. All young people should go to college. Vocational training is unnecessary as non-collegiate young people are needed for the volunteer armed forces.

Farmers should be paid to plow under corn and other food.

Elephants, whales, dogs, horses, primates, none of these are sentient. Whales are a traditional food and that's good enough reason to continue to eat them; elephants don't cry, primates don't use tools. It's perfectly consistent to cry over oil-caked birds on TV while enjoying a chicken dinner.

what I heard, what I heard

TV is watched by everyone 4 hours a night and that's just how it should be. Everything should be commodified, including access to water and air. Marijuana use should remain a crime. Alcohol is far less harmful; at least with alcohol you throw up, get punished for experiencing euphoria. Tobacco use should be regulated to the point of de facto prohibition even though it's legal. People can get cancer from cigarettes smoked outdoors.

We are rational beings. We don't make decisions based primarily on emotion and instinct.

this is what I heard when I tuned in
what I heard, what I heard, on the radio


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Last edited by pjouissance, Jul/19/2010, 6:43 pm
May/27/2010, 6:22 pm Link to this post Send Email to pjouissance   Send PM to pjouissance
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: this is what I heard when I tuned in


It's true, Auto. This poem has no end; I'm beginning to wonder if it's the only poem worth writing in times like these.

Thanks for posting,

Chris
May/28/2010, 8:49 am Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
pjouissance Profile
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Re: this is what I heard when I tuned in


Thanks, Chris, I appreciate your stopping in.

Auto
May/28/2010, 6:34 pm Link to this post Send Email to pjouissance   Send PM to pjouissance
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: this is what I heard when I tuned in


Damn. I mean just damn. I mean just god damn.

This is slam poetry at its best. I can hear it coming down from the stage. The refrain comes through like an evangelist punctuating his delivery with the measured, "Can I have an amen." Only more effectively.

I am seriously struck by something. The poem strikes me as an intelligent play on the famous sonnet of Wordsworth's about how the world is too much with us.

Auto I know, think I know, you thrive on crit-nits. If I had a nit I'ld pick at it.

Tere
May/29/2010, 7:49 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: this is what I heard when I tuned in


Auto,

Excellent poem. Thank you for giving voice to the dizzying, overwhelming way it feels when one tunes in. Bless you for that.

I was reminded of that famous line from WCW:

"It is difficult
to get the news from poems
          yet men die miserably every day
           for lack
of what is found there."

You have made the case that people can and do die, literally or emotionally, every day from what is in the news. The quasi-journalistic way you have written this piece is wonderfully effective. You have avoided the off-putting ranty quality work that addresses these issues often evokes. I also enjoyed the dark humorous touches throughout.

Don't stop writing; you are on a roll!
Jun/8/2010, 9:25 am Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
pjouissance Profile
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Re: this is what I heard when I tuned in


Hi, Kat (my aunt's nickname too),

Thanks for your comments! I'd like to take each of these statements and write an essay explaining it...I'm glad the format of using negatives made it less of a rant...

Auto
Jun/8/2010, 6:46 pm Link to this post Send Email to pjouissance   Send PM to pjouissance
 


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