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pjouissance Profile
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the wound




I am the President and the butt
of the joke stops with me said the president
how I love him for his grimness
his grimace his guinness
his business his seriousness
in the mess
a hard man in waiting
his starry eyes are going nova
his mouth is turning
down

we face a long-term respiration effort
even if the leak was stopped today
capitalism looks like an incontinent old man

the way they have learned to pierce her
till they hit an artery
they just kept on and kept on
a mile under the sea they drilled her

her black blood welling


'
'
'
Jun/8/2010, 6:44 pm Link to this post Send Email to pjouissance   Send PM to pjouissance
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: the wound


Auto,

This is stunning. S1 captures his essence, S3 and last line are almost wounding to read. The weak link (for me) is S2--but maybe just by comparison to the rest.

Chris
Jun/9/2010, 7:40 am Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
pjouissance Profile
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Re: the wound


Hi, Christine,

Yes, that stanza in the middle could use some shoring up. Maybe I can fix that.

Thanks for stopping in!

Auto
Jun/9/2010, 11:29 pm Link to this post Send Email to pjouissance   Send PM to pjouissance
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: the wound


Yep. This goes to what too many people seem to need to avoid. The rape itself. If you do play with S2 I hope you don't lose L3. Here is the indictment. Textually speaking it is also the segue between top and bottom stanzas.

On a side note, I keep feeling as if someone has tied to me to a chair, forced my eyes to remain open with tooth picks, and put a vile and violent porno flick on the video 24/7.

Tere
Jun/10/2010, 3:24 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
pjouissance Profile
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Re: the wound


Well, here's hoping the Prez has something concrete to announce tonight. It just goes on and goes on though. I'm worried about the duration. It's one thing to have an earthquake or a bombing - it happens, you get busy. But here there seems so little to be done but sit and watch things slowly be poisoned. It's a bad dream.

Auto
Jun/15/2010, 6:18 pm Link to this post Send Email to pjouissance   Send PM to pjouissance
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: the wound


It is a bad dream, Auto. It is kind of like what the poet, Robert Graves, said it would be back in the forties. Man's continued irreverence (and woman's) of the earth will cause her one day to turn from white mare to nightmare.

Tere
Jun/19/2010, 6:49 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
pjouissance Profile
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Re: the wound


white mare, what a wonderful image, Tere...

Auto
Jun/20/2010, 5:33 pm Link to this post Send Email to pjouissance   Send PM to pjouissance
 
Terreson Profile
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Re: the wound


Auto, maybe you remember the old nursery rhyme. From memory it goes something like this:

Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
To see a fine lady upon a white horse.
With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
She shall have music wherever she goes.

That be the White Goddess according to Graves, as was the famed Lady Godiva. Oh and aren't you a wee bit Irish? There is an ancient Irish tribe called the Tuatha De Dannan, or the children of Danu, also a Goddess. They were horse riders. Like all the Celtic tribes they would have originated in the Caucasian area. Danu's totem was a white mare, which is where I got the image.

Here is something for the fun of it:

http://www.timelessmyths.com/celtic/danufamily.html#Danann

Tere
Jun/20/2010, 9:39 pm Link to this post Send Email to Terreson   Send PM to Terreson
 
Katlin Profile
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Re: the wound


Another strong poem, Auto. Very tight in terms of language and theme. I remember somewhere else on the board you referred to the oil spill as a "wound" and thought that was very fitting. I'm glad you used, and extended, that metaphor here. Your description of Obama is moving.

If you are interested in greater exposure for the poem, you might want to submit it to this site:

http://newversenews.blogspot.com/

Chris, is this the site you were published at? You know the one I mean, but always forget? If not, could you please post the correct link? Danke!
Jun/28/2010, 1:07 pm Link to this post Send Email to Katlin   Send PM to Katlin
 
Christine98 Profile
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Re: the wound


Good to see you, Kat! Yeah, that's the site.

Chris
Jun/28/2010, 3:55 pm Link to this post Send Email to Christine98   Send PM to Christine98
 
pjouissance Profile
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Re: the wound


Thanks for that info, Katlin and Christine!

Auto
Jun/28/2010, 8:40 pm Link to this post Send Email to pjouissance   Send PM to pjouissance
 


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