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Social Animal
Zen stepping
as through a migration
of snails
With riotous restraint
angles compressed as a diamond
or a death bed
Squint-eyed, one's feet
flopping gigantically
And all her children in their cups
following the funeral
Last edited by Christine98, Jul/1/2013, 9:17 am
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Jun/30/2013, 9:58 am
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Re: Social Animal
Hey Chris,
The first three stanzas paint a daunting, precarious picture of social awkwardness, with just the right hint of humor. There's a lot going on in those brief stanzas, which I think are original and well-done.
The last couplet came as a suprise. In a good way. I'm glad you included it, but it left me wantng more! I wondered if you might decide to develop that part of the scene a bit? Not necessary, but just me egging you on.
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Jul/1/2013, 10:49 am
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Re: Social Animal
thank you, kat, for your take. very much appreciated,
Chris
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Jul/1/2013, 2:28 pm
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