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nocturne
the night walks into me
circles of street-light
i can walk through
without my hands searching the darkness
for something more
or less human
without forgetting how i wish
you were here
Last edited by arkava, Jan/4/2014, 11:10 am
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Jan/3/2014, 12:14 pm
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Re: nocturne
I adore that line:
"the night walks into me"
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Jan/6/2014, 10:45 pm
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Re: nocturne
arkava
a fascinating little piece - with great atmosphere!
my two-bit:
the night walks into me
as i walk through circles
of street light without
hands searching the darkness
for something more or less
human without forgetting
how i wish you were here
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Jan/8/2014, 2:39 am
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Re: nocturne
Hi arka,
You must know by now how much I enjoy reading your love poems, and this one is no exception. The poem reads very naturally to me, and I love these line breaks:
without my hands searching the darkness
for something more
or less human
This is a quiet, humble piece that feels both authentic and artful in an understated way.
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Jan/8/2014, 10:11 am
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Re: nocturne
Thanks guys
Libra, that line was the seeding thought for the poem. At one pt that was all there was. You liked the rt thing. Thank you so much for reading.
Queen, thanks very much for the look at this. I do want to hold onto the line breaks for now, especially the one at "more." Also the "less human" thing on its own. But i will try to incorporate some of the suggestions. Thanks again.
Hey Kat,
I read it as a love poem once I wrote it out. Then, after reading it out to my wife, realized I was also talking to my mother and some other dead people. Freud would have a field day with this. It's funny the way these things work themselves out of you.
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Jan/13/2014, 9:21 pm
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